From Ms. to Mrs.

heading towards the wedding

2011-01-11T18:54:00.006-05:00

Back in the day, when my wedding countdown was at like 655 days, I used to wonder what I'd be thinking right before I got married. Would I be nervous? Would I be prepared? Would I be freaking out?

Well here I am, just days before the big day and here's what I'm thinking:

Will I be able to eat in that dress??? On one hand, I hear you rarely get to eat at your own wedding. On the other hand, I know myself. You know how some people lose weight when they're sick because they lose their appetite? Yeah, that's not me. I eat MORE because I'm sitting in my pajamas watching Maury. There's no question of my eating. I'm just worried because my wedding dress is just a bit tighter than my tshirt and sweatpants.
Will I be able to walk in that dress??? Without the petticoat, it has about 5 layers of tulle. With petticoat, it has about 15. I couldn't even fit through the dressing room door and now I'm supposed to walk down an aisle. Next to another person. I'm slightly nervous I'll sideswipe people on the way down.
Will I cry? Right now I cry thinking about my father handing me off to a man who might not realize that I am useless when it comes to checking the air in my tires. I cry thinking about our first dance. But the real question is whether or not I'll cry when it's actually happening. Who knows. Maybe I'll be too busy thinking about tires.
Will I have fun? I know it sounds like a silly question but from what I hear, you don't get to eat, you don't have time to dance and you don't get to talk to your friends. That doesn't sound very fun to me at all.
Will anyone notice the details? Well, will they???? I've spent the past two years designing, cutting, adhering, addressing, hole punching, and assembling. All for details that people will glance at and either leave in the pew or toss in the trash. But I guess they'll be too busy having fun eating, dancing and talking to their friends so I can't really blame them.

And last but not least, the big question of the week is:

What, in Heaven's name, am I going to do when it's all over?!

snow stressed out

2011-01-10T18:45:00.002-05:00

So this is it!! My final week of being single! For the last month, I've been in DIY Hell. Between the placecards and programs and menus, wedding planning has become my second shift of work.

Now I knew when I planned a January wedding that the weather would need to be closely watched. And while my wedding day is looking pretty clear, my rehearsal dinner is not faring as well.

According to Accuweather, my area is potentially receiving 6 to 10 inches of snow from Tuesday night into Wednesday afternoon. With my rehearsal dinner starting at 7pm on Wednesday, I've decided to change the date to Thursday instead.

As if this week wasn't going to be stressful enough! Don't get me wrong - I am very grateful that my wedding day will not have snow falling but at least with the wedding I wouldn't have the stress of deciding whether or not I should cancel it!

So, on top of worrying about moving my stuff into our new place and making sure all the loose ends are tied up, I am now dealing with changing the rehearsal with the church, moving the date with the restaurant and notifying all of our guests.

Okay, just needed to vent. I promised myself and my fiance that I would not stress myself out too much this week. Instead, I plan on fitting in a few pre-marital blogs before I walk down the aisle!

the d.o.c.

2010-11-24T18:56:00.000-05:00

No, not the Department of Corrections, but close!

My sister got married last week and after seeing just how hectic the wedding day really is, I'm even more convinced in my decision to have my good friend serve as my Day of Coordinator.

I don't need her to wear a headset like J-Lo or to come dressed in black. I just need someone I trust to have the day run smoothly and nothing be forgotten. I know I'm crazier than most but I think that's even more reason for a bride to have someone there to have everything executed exactly as the bride would like.

Most bridal mags and Web sites encourage using wedding planners, or at the very least, day of coordinators. And while it seems like it's just ANOTHER wedding expense that the bridal industry wants you to tack on to your budget, I really believe it's worth it, especially during the bridal preparation time.

Here's why.

All the other people you trust will be just a little bit busy that day. Your mother. Your sister. Your best friend from Girl Scouts. If you love them that much, they are probably in the Bridal Party or helping you get dressed. They will be by your side taking pictures or riding in the limo. They will not be able to make sure all the other little things are perfect. As organized as I was with my sister's wedding schedule, I was still having trouble balancing between being my sister's planner and being her sister. In the end, I had to do the job I was technically ASKED to do and focus on being the maid of honor.
Time is of the essence. Between making sure you get to the church on time to having all the bridesmaids board the limo, a day of coordinator's main focus is to follow the schedule you put together. Otherwise, people run late and extra costs are incurred.
No stress in the dress. You will NOT want to deal with problems and questions while dressed in your gorgeous gown and wearing your expensive makeup. You just won't. Let someone else handle the delivery guy at the door or the photographer's question about where the bathroom is located.
Good Bride, Bad DOC. It's so much better to have someone else working as your megaphone. If you're upset or concerned about something, tell the DOC and she'll take care of it. Are the bridesmaids wandering around? Have the DOC rein them all in. Are your family members getting in the way of the photographer's shots? Let the DOC move everyone out of the way. Let her be Bossy McBride, NOT you.

The DOC doesn't need to be some fancy wedding planner from "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?" She doesn't need to have any prior wedding-day experience. Your day-of should just be someone you feel comfortable putting in charge of YOUR wedding vision. Someone you know will make sure that everything goes just the way you want it.

You've done all the planning. Now let someone else help you to enjoy your day!

you are cordially invited...

2010-11-10T20:16:00.002-05:00

So I survived the craziness of work and was rewarded with the relief of FINALLY sending my invitations out! After all the months of planning and designing and gluing and addressing, I sealed them up and brought them to the post office.

For all of you who are curious about my calligraphy, below is an example of how the envelopes look:

For someone who has never done calligraphy before in her life, I think I did a pretty good job of inking 150 addresses AND return addresses. Go me!

And now here's a picture of the actual invitation, all made and assembled by yours truly. As I've mentioned in earlier posts, I had the design printed by Cards and Pockets on pre-cut cardstock. I then used a Martha Stewart snowflake hole punch on the invitation and then mounted it on "Sparkling Sapphire" panel cards. I wrapped a silver belly band around the entire invitation and "sealed" it with a snowflake. All of the items used to create the invitation were purchased by Cards and Pockets as well. I highly recommend them!

Here's

The most important characteristic about my invitations is that it matches all the other stationery I am creating for the wedding. I didn't DIY the invitations because I thought it would save me money; it took me a lot of time and dedication to get these babies finished. I made them myself because I wanted everything to fit together.

I can't believe the invitations are finally out! What a relief!

Now onto the RSVPS!

panic! about the wedding

2010-09-29T21:28:00.000-04:00

So I probably should work on the things I'm panicking about instead of blogging about the panic but expressing my thoughts seems to calm me down.

We are now down to W-3.5 months, which is about 15 weeks until the wedding. And while I thought I was super prepared and crazy organized, I'm starting to realize that 15 weeks does not leave me much time to get everything I wanted done.

I know what you're thinking:

"Why, Ms. Nicole, you started your planning so early! How could you STILL have things left to do?!"

Well, since you asked...

Finalize dinner menu
Print dinner menu
Assemble dinner menu
Finalize program
Print program
Assemble program
Book hairdresser
Book hotel shuttle
Make out of town bags
Wrap wedding favors
Reserve rehearsal
Reserve rehearsal dinner
Shop for wedding bands
Dress fittings
Choose wedding cake
Finish addressing envelopes
Finish assembling invitations
Mail invitations
Order guys' tuxes
Work on seating arrangements
Print placecards

I could probably go on but I really don't want to bore you. The above list was more for my reference than for your interest :)

And maybe 15 weeks in normal time wouldn't be so bad. But for the next 5 weeks, I am pretty busy at work. Not to mention, there are 3 major holidays within that time span.

So how do I calm myself down AND get everything done that I need to do? Do all brides go through this, no matter how prepared they are?

making up my mind (and face)

2010-09-20T20:14:00.000-04:00

We are now down to t minus 4 months. WTF. My engagement has been so long that I kept thinking I had time to do so many things and now my time is almost up and I haven't finished accomplishing everything yet!

One Sprint item I recently checked off my list (yes, I'm still doing the sprints and they are working out really well for me!) was scheduling my makeup trial. I met with and booked Gina Brozon, a really nice and friendly woman who did an awesome job with my makeup.

However, after meeting with Gina, I began to wonder if having a trial does more bad than good!

On one hand, I am really glad I got to experiment a little before the wedding day. I was pretty sure I wanted to go with a dark, smokey look like the ones below. Looks like Kim Kardashian is my inspiration!

Gina totally achieved the look and even added some false eyelashes to give my wimpy ones a boost. But after looking at it a couple of hours later, I decided I didn't want as many falsies as I thought. Better to know now than on the wedding day!

On the other hand, however, getting my makeup done so professionally on a rainy Thursday night in September kinda freaked me out! Wearing all that makeup on a regular day made me nervous that it was TOO much makeup. Gina kept reminding me that it doesn't look like a lot when I'm wearing my big dress and my hair is formally done, but it still worried me that I won't look like myself.

I know this is probably the same reaction every bride gives during the trial but I'm unsure as to how/if I should do my makeup differently on the big day.

Anyone have any suggestions, comments or experience? I could really use some!

shower of style - part one

2010-08-31T20:08:00.010-04:00

I'm a little slow on blogging but I knew this entry would be a lot!

My sister's bridal shower was last week and while I am certainly biased (I'm the Maid of Honor), it was really a spectacular shower. Momzilla and I, along with my sister's future sisters-in-law and future mother-in-law, put a lot of hard work and effort into it and it certainly paid off.

Sister Bride is quite the fashionista. She's always loved clothes and jewelry and the high life. She currently works as a manager at a very well-known and high-end retail store. She has more designer bags than I have underwear. So it was only natural that we plan a shower around her love of fashion.

First, we ordered the invitations from Tickled Pink Design and I penned an original saying that catered to the theme.

Next, we ordered favors. We wanted to give guests something that was relevant to shopping but was still useful. So I searched high and low until I found a great deal on these adorable purse valets from Sincerely Ann Marie. Since the party, we've received a lot of compliments on them!

The restaurant was already giving us a wishing well but I had something else in mind. I envisioned a large "shopping bag" in which guests could throw their little gifts.

I bought a presentation display board from Staples and covered it in brown mailing paper (also purchased at Staples). Then I glued a twine-looking wire around the top of the board that I bought from Michaels. And last but not least, Lyndsey's future sister-in-law used her nifty Cricut to cut out large letters to glue on the front of the board. It wasn't perfect Bloomingdale font, but came out really cute! Then we surrounded the presentation board around a hamper in which people could put their wishing well presents.

This was the final product:

For the centerpieces, we collected small to medium-sized black shopping bags from high-end retail stores like Sephora or Guess. We then stuffed them with hot pink tissue paper and wrapped a tag around them that indicated table number.

Here's some of them lined up:

And then one of the most creative things we did for the party was the placecards. People are still talking about them!

I am in no way a graphic designer but I took an image of an American Express credit card and played around with it in GIMP, a free photo editing program. I found a font that looked similar to the fonts on credit cards and added everyone's names and table numbers to the credit card. Then I printed, laminated and cut them to look like real cards. We stuck them in mini shopping bags with hot pink paper and set them out on the table.

They came out really adorable!!

So not to overwhelm you with an extremely long entry (which I'm sure it already is), I will dedicate my next entry to revealing what sorts of games we played and just how cute everything looked at the shower.

Stay tuned!

veil mail

2010-08-26T18:41:00.002-04:00

So more exciting news! My veil arrived in the mail yesterday!

I would think that most brides purchase their veil from the same salon where they ordered their wedding dress but honestly, I couldn't see spending $300 on a piece of tulle that will be worn for an hour. So I decided to shop around online and find a more affordable option.

While I was certain that I wanted a veil with a blusher (I have been unusually traditional about the ceremony portion of the wedding), I didn't really know what length I wanted. Here were the contenders:

First, there was Momzilla's favorite - the Cathedral Veil. While it's formal and beautiful, I was afraid that it would be too long and cover the gorgeous train of my dress.

Then there was the fingertip length veil. I liked this better than the long Cathedral one but MZ complained that it was too short. I suddenly felt like Goldilocks!

Until I found the veil I ordered from Love The Bride. It wasn't too long, it wasn't too short. It was just right! And it only cost me $66 with free shipping! You certainly can't beat that.

Any thoughts about the veil? Do you wish you had gotten a more expensive one or a cheaper one? Did you wear a blusher? Or were you super trendy and wear a birdcage style veil?

something blue

2010-08-20T20:35:00.003-04:00

I love the latest trend of wearing colored heels on your wedding day. It adds that splash of fun and spontaneity on an otherwise extremely planned day.

So while I was in Italy, I noticed that a lot of stores sold blue heels and I got really excited. I was planning on ordering a pair of blue pumps for my wedding and I thought it would be even cooler if I got them in Italy. So my future cousins-in-law and I scoured all over town until we finally found a pair in my size (trust me, it was a process!).

They are navy blue peep toe slingbacks. They look a little like the picture below, only they are a darker blue, do not have such big bows on top and they didn't cost me hundreds of dollars! Actually, they came out to only 30 euros, which translates to about $40 in American money.

Now I just need to practice wearing them so I don't fall flat on my face on my wedding day!

music to my wallet

2010-08-18T18:58:00.007-04:00

I know! I've been MIA for the last two months but not without good reason!

I've been pretty busy with work, and between traveling and not having time to bounce ideas off my work BFF Megan (I like the term workwife but others seem to disagree), I just haven't really had a chance to organize my thoughts. And now that I'm back home with Momzilla, I don't have much room or time to do anything other than wedding planning!

Ok, enough with the excuses. The point of this entry was to bring up a topic that I've kinda dodged until now but with less than 5 months until the wedding (gasp!!), I think it's time to face the music. Pun intended.

I'm a music person. Always have been. I even work in a music related industry. And so when it was time to plan a wedding, I knew I wanted to have some live music in addition to the recorded tunes spun by my DJ.

The big question for me is where are the live musicians most appreciated? And where are my dollars best spent?

My church apparently has some sort of "contract" with a fanfare company where, for a few hundred dollars, we could have a trumpeter announce my arrival outside the church, play during the ceremony, and announce our departure as husband and wife afterwards. When I heard the trumpet play the wedding march in church during our workshop, I was sold.

But now I'm contemplating whether or not I'll need to hire another set of live classical musicians to play during the cocktail hour. I attended another winter wedding not too long ago where a string quartet played classical music during cocktail hour and I remember it feeling really warm and cozy. Momzilla is a huge fan of this idea and the romantic, sentimental side of me is as well.

I would love to do both but my wedding budget isn't so sure. The amount of money I have allotted for live music does not cover both the ceremony and the cocktail hour. And while I'm more inclined to have the trumpeter at the church (slightly cheaper, more powerful, more noticeable, and heard by me, the bride!), I still haven't completely thrown out the idea of just doing the cocktail hour (more romantic, more guests will hear it, cozier).

So my question to everyone is:

If you had to choose between live musicians at the ceremony or live musicians at the cocktail hour, which ones do you think is more remembered by the guests?

Or do you think I should just suck it up and get live musicians for both the ceremony AND the cocktail hour?

sprinting to the finish line

2010-06-16T20:22:00.001-04:00

Starting in January, my company began using an organizational system called "Sprints" as part of preparing for one of our biggest projects. How it works is we meet once a month and determine the tasks and goals we plan to accomplish between each meeting (which is spaced about 4 weeks apart). While there can certainly be large tasks listed, we try to break each one down into smaller, more doable items so that the big picture gets done faster.

So, being the planner that I am, I've decided to apply my work methods to my wedding. In order to prepare for the big day (t-minus 7 months!), I have broken down wedding tasks by month. To make it "cutesy," I named each Sprint after a winter word.

Here's an example:

I'm hoping that if I give myself little goals, like addressing 50% of the invitation envelopes, then I won't feel so intimidated to work on my calligraphy. It also gives me a sense of how much time I'll need to set aside each month in order to plan my wedding.

Of course, after looking at my full Sprint list, I began to panic. How the heck am I going to get all of these things done?! Keep in mind that this is just MY wedding planning. None of these tasks are related to my sister's bridal shower, bachelorette party or wedding plans!

Do any of you ladies have other suggestions on how to keep yourself organized?

When would you say is the MOST stressful time? The week before the wedding? Or the seven months before when you realize how much stuff needs to get done?

in vendors we trust

2010-06-14T20:05:00.000-04:00

So now we're down to 7 months and most of my vendors have already been booked. Some of them, like the hall and the photographers, were hired quite early while others, like the florist, were recently contracted. All of them, however, required some sort of a deposit at the time we booked them. On average, I would say each vendor asked for at least 25% of the total cost in order to reserve the date.

Now that my wedding is getting closer, I'm considering whether or not I should be paying off more of that wedding night balance.

On one hand, if I pay off little by little each month, it won't feel like such a financial dent in my wallet. I've been pacing myself with all of my other wedding purchases and I really think it's what's helped me stay relatively calm about spending so much money. Fifty dollars here and $100 there doesn't hurt as much because it's spread out. It also means that on the night of the wedding, I won't need the Best Man or Matron of Honor (yes, Lyndsey, you will be a MATRON) to be worrying about all that cash they'll be carrying.

On the other hand, I am quite paranoid about prepaying for a vendor who may bail on me last minute or not end up providing the services they promised. I've heard so many horror stories of vendors who take your money and run.

One example I posted in a previous entry was around Enzo Bridal who unexpectedly closed its doors and left brides without dresses. Depending on the cost of your dress, a bride may have left thousands of dollars down as a deposit only to have to deal with a lawsuit right before her wedding in order to get it back.

Another example is Celebration Studios, who took thousands of dollars from couples and then ended up filing for bankruptcy in 2008. I can't even imagine knowing that I will never get to keep the only lasting memories of my wedding day!

So how can we protect ourselves? Here's what I've been doing so far.

Check out their reviews on Wedding Wire. Not only can it legitimize the vendor by providing other brides who have used this vendor, but it can let you know if there were any problems or issues.
Search for the vendor on Better Business Bureau. Smaller and more local vendors may not be accredited by the BBB but it can at least provide ratings for those who are.
Ask for referrals! Even though I absolutely adore Papillio Photography now, I was still a skeptical bride when I met them so I asked them for references of past brides. I was assuaged of my fears when a former bride emailed me and answered all of my questions.

Considering I'm still new to this whole wedding business, is there anything else that you married ladies can suggest? I'm sure my fellow brides would appreciate the advice!

moving back with the 'rents

2010-06-01T23:57:00.000-04:00

So it's going to be a pretty big week for me. Tomorrow is my 28th birthday (gasp!) and by the end of the week, I'll be living back at la casa de my parents. That's right, I am moving back in with my folks, or at least until I get married in 7.5 months!

So I haven't been able to blog much lately due to the fact that I've been cleaning out my little bedroom in order to move everything out. It's amazing how much clutter I've accumulated in just three short years! But as excited as I am about moving on to the next chapter in my life, I'm really sad about saying goodbye to this one.

When I moved into this apartment, I had no idea what the future was going to bring. All I knew was that I wanted a fresh start; a change to my life. Little did I know just how much of a change this one little move would bring me! The night I called this apartment home, I met the man of my dreams. The man I am going to marry. He literally arrived at my doorstep and was standing in my living room when we were introduced. And believe it or not, I knew from the moment I met him that he was the ONE. Cliche, but true.

So here I am, getting ready to leave the place I've made my home and move back to the place that made me. And as much as I tease Momzilla, I'm actually excited about living with my parents again. MZ and I will have a lot of fun with our wedding plans and when I leave that house on my wedding day, I'll really be leaving from it.

I promise to write more once I'm settled! Till then, happy planning!

Dancing with Dad

2010-05-10T19:18:00.000-04:00

I thought I knew all the obscure "Father-Daughter" songs out there but Miss Newport's blog, Newport Nuptials, posted a new sappy, sweet song from Edwin McCain so I thought I'd pass it on. I've also posted the lyrics below the video.

Enjoy and be sure to keep a Kleenex nearby!

I’ll take this slow sweet walk with you
You’ll let go of my hand to say: I do
He will discover just how blessed a life can be
I know cuz all those years ago
Someone handed you to me

Every step that we take
Brings back the memories
Winter snows and horse shows
Dancing on the beach
I can’t help thinking that I’m the lucky one
You’re still my baby daughter
And now I’ve gained a son

Chorus
I’ll take this slow sweet walk with you
You’ll let go of my hand to say : I do
He will discover just how blessed a life can be
I know ‘cause all those years ago
Your mom handed you to me

Don’t miss a chance to put each other first
Now that you’ve vowed for better or for worse
Don’t let the beauty of this life pass you by
In the times of trouble you’ll stand side by side

Chorus
I’ll take this slow sweet walk with you
You’ll let go of my hand to say : I do

I picture a slow sweet walk yet to be
When you’ll take my hand and say : Daddy come see
Then you’ll know what it felt like
You won’t believe what it feels like
Then you’ll know what it felt like
When she handed you to me

She handed you to me

busy, busy, busy!

2010-05-05T18:30:00.000-04:00

To my faithful readers, I deeply apologize for not writing an entry sooner! It's not that I've been too busy to write, it's just I haven't had too much to write about just yet.

I've been spending the last few weeks finalizing my DIY plans. What began as a simple thought of making my own menu cards has now turned into doing everything myself! And while I'm still ironing out the kinks, I thought I'd share with you a couple of things I've learned so far:

1. Give yourself enough time. While your ideas may change along the way, it's really important to leave room to not only decide on your vision but to determine how you're going to achieve it. Sure, layered programs don't look like much but when I actually sat down and had to figure out the dimensions of the pages, I was relieved to know I had plenty of time for trial and error!

2. Order samples. Textures of paper or fabric cannot be felt through a computer screen and colors are RARELY represented accurately. I probably spent $25 on all sorts of papers and ribbons and invitations but it was well worth it. What appears nice on the screen may end up looking cheap or tacky in reality!

3. Seek inspiration. Just because you're doing the project yourself doesn't mean you have to be creative enough to come up with an idea from scratch! My design didn't just magically appear in my head; I took other creations and mixed and matched them to fit the snowflake vision I already had. If you have an idea or color, I suggest entering in a keyword into Google images and let it do it's thing.

4. Be organized! If you were to ask my father about my organizational skills, he'd laugh. My work desk has papers scattered all over it, my bedroom has drawers filled with random junk and my car needs a maid in order to stay neat. When it comes to my DIY projects, however, I am pretty anal. I keep track of everything - the color, size, amount, company, cost, dimensions, etc. And I don't order anything until I consult my spreadsheet.

5. Ask for help. Don't assume you can do all these tasks by yourself because unless you are a stay-at-home bride, you won't have the time. There's so much that needs to be done and some of it doesn't even require lifting a finger. My co-workers have been so helpful with helping me determine paper colors and design layouts that I don't think I'd have the confidence to go forward with these projects if it weren't for them! And when it comes time to assemble everything, I'll be fine even if only one or two members of my large bridal party can spare an hour or so to help out.

6. Know when to go professional. I'm doing a lot of the stationery myself but that doesn't mean I want it to look that way. So instead of using Momzilla's temperamental deskjet printer, I'm having all of my stationery printed by my local Alphagraphics. And while I was able to pull off a crash course in calligraphy, there are still some trades I know I will never be able to learn. Like how to cut in a straight line. As I mentioned above, my program pages will be layered and I really don't trust myself to use the paper cutter in my office to make each layer the exact length it needs to be. So, in addition to printing my stationery, Alphagraphics has offered to laser cut my programs, menus and placecards as well. This will certainly cut my DIY time in half!

So there you have it! Granted, nothing major has been finished yet so I can't tell you if these tips really work but so far, everything has been going smoothly. I've started the invitation making process and have already begun addressing a couple of envelopes. I don't want to post up any of my finished work until after the wedding, but I do plan on blogging my progress along the way. And if any of you other DIY Brides have advice or questions, feel free to comment below!

Happy DIY-ing!

invitation situation

2010-04-08T19:00:00.003-04:00

I've heard about it. I've read about it. And now I'm thisclose to actually doing it. That's right, I'm pretty certain I'm going to make my own invitations.

Now before you all start to freak and yell about how I'll want to rip my hair out in the process, let me first inform you that I'm not making the invitations from scratch like some of the really DIY brides do. Instead, I'm taking a simple design that I liked and recreating it myself with a few minor adjustments. I'd like to think of my latest invitation decision as a hybrid of professional and DIY -- a DIP, if you will (do-it-professionally).

And I'm not doing this to save money. While I will save a little bit by doing it myself, it's not the cost that motivated me. I've actually found several professional invitations that are really pretty and are right in my budget. No, the thing that pushed me over the DIY edge is the fact that pre-designed invitations won't match the beautiful stationery I've been working so hard on these last few months. It would really bother me if my invitations didn't match the programs, menu cards, and table names. And if I'm doing all this work already, why not go all the way?!

So how do I plan on pulling this off? Well, without spoiling the surprise for my guests, I'll explain:

1. Envision the design. This was pretty easy for me since I already had an idea from another invitation but I did draw it on paper out to scale so I could get an idea of what the final design would look like. What makes me really happy is knowing I'll get to incorporate my monogram colors and font!

2. Create the invitation. I'm having my invitations printed through Cards and Pockets and in order to do so, they ask for your document as a PDF with the exact paper dimensions that you plan on using. This has been the trickiest part so far, mainly because I couldn't convert my Word document into the appropriate PDF size. Luckily, I had my graphic designing uncle do it for me. Thanks Uncle Al!

3. Create the RSVP/enclosure cards. Like the invitation, the RSVP and enclosure cards need to be a specific size so while I already have the design created, I need to have my uncle resize them for me. He's certainly earning the boutonniere he'll be wearing on the wedding day!

4. Submit designs for printing. This is pretty self-explanatory. I just email the PDFs to Cards and Pockets and they'll print it all for me on their pre-cut cards. The pricing is reasonable and it doesn't require any paper cutters on my part, which makes me happy.

5. Order the paper and envelopes. I plan on backing my invitations on cardstock also ordered through Cards and Pockets. Cards and Pockets does a good job of informing you what sizes you'd need for each type of invitation you can design. And they have a lot of really nice colors that can also be matched on envelopes from the site as well.

6. Mount the invitation. I'm anticipating this to be the most tedious part. I was told spraying two invitation backs at a time with adhesive would do the trick. Haven't decided who will help me with this task - MZ? Groomie? Or the fair maidens of mine?

7. Address the envelopes. Thanks to my wonderful instructor, I'm feeling pretty confident about my newly acquired calligraphy skills. My regular italic lettering is decent and I'm set to start learning copperplate, which is nice and fancy if done correctly. The only thing for which I want to give myself time is the spacing. Most of my guests are probably not reading this blog and will therefore not know that I will be doing the addressing myself so I want to make sure it looks semi-professional! The good news is by doing it myself, I can order the envelopes even before the invitations so I can get a head start on the addresses.

Here's an example of italic calligraphy:

And then here's copperplate:

So I know this is going to require time and patience but I'm up for the challenge. My only fear is that I'll screw it up somehow!

Has anyone else made their invitations? If so, any advice you can give me?

if it's too good to be true, it usually is!

2010-03-30T13:48:00.000-04:00

Remember when I posted about Enzo Bridal, a bridal shop that was offering free airline tickets to any bride who tried on dresses? When I had gone with my mother, sister and grandmother, I had tried on a beautiful dress that was at a really reasonable price. Momzilla fell in love with it and tried to convince me to purchase my gown there. I, being the researcher that I am, had read terrible reviews about the salon and refused to comply with MZ.

Thank goodness that I did. According to this article and the furious brides on The Knot message boards, Enzo Bridal has suddenly closed its doors. Brides who have put their deposits down may never see their wedding dress and some of these women are getting married in just a few months! I couldn't imagine.

I hope this teaches brides two things:

One, you should always do your homework before you use any vendor.

And two, if it's too good to be true, it usually is!

let there be WHITE!

2010-03-25T18:30:00.001-04:00

Three of my bridesmaids are getting married just a few months before I am and lately there has been one common aspect of the wedding with which we all seem to be frustrated -- FLOWERS.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I don't plan on having many flowers for my wedding. My bridesmaids will wear white muffs in lieu of bouquets and the reception centerpieces will be white birch branches in a tall glass vase. Since bridesmaids bouquets and floral centerpieces are usually the bulk of the florist cost, not having them will be a load off my budget. But there are still some flowers that are necessary - like my bouquet and the guys' boutonnieres.

I don't really know much about flowers and honestly, I don't really care. All I'm really looking for is a white bouquet with some pinecones thrown in (see picture below). And for the guys, just give them a white flower to pin on their jackets. I don't think I'm asking for too much so it's a little surprising when the florists do.

I've shown this bouquet example to four different florists and have gotten four different costs, ranging from $100 to $200. And the difference in prices is what really frustrated me.

First of all, aren't they looking at the same flowers? With the exact same "product," wouldn't I just automatically choose the cheapest one? I don't know; maybe I missed Flowers 101. Even if some florists have magical greenhouses where the flowers live forever, I only need them for the day. That's all.

Secondly, can you tell what each of those flowers are? Cause I can't. All I see are white flowers but supposedly there are roses and peonies and lisianthus and ranunculus and that, my friends, is what makes or breaks the cost. Peonies, especially in winter, cost more than roses, which cost more than lisianthus.

White peony:

White rose:

White lisianthus:

I'm glad I researched this before I went to the florist because if I just told them to replicate this bouquet, I'd be spending a fortune on flowers that I can't even recognize. Instead, I was very clear to mention that I wanted to replace the expensive peonies with the more affordable lisianthus. And honestly, I bet no one would even notice a difference. Would you?

In the end, I went with Flowers By Chuck because he not only gave me the best price (by several hundred dollars) but he also received good reviews on Wedding Wire. For my floral purposes, that was good enough for me.

Of course, there are a lot of brides who want a particular flower or a particular color that may be more costly but if you're like I am and are just having flowers for the sake of having flowers, here's my advice to you:

Visit a florist prepared with two things: your colors and your budget. Then let them figure out the best way to combine the two. After all, they're the experts!

bridesmaid dresses - CHECK!

2010-03-17T18:30:00.019-04:00

So after much deliberation and many sleepless nights (ok, now I'm exaggerating), I finally made the decision to stick with the Alexia Designs dress I loved so much.

Last week, Momzilla, MOH, my cousin/bridesmaid Amanda and my aunt met for a day of dresses. First, we stopped at Dolores Bridal Boutique where Amanda and I got measured for my sister's bridesmaid dresses. The dress for her wedding is gorgeous - I can't wait to wear it!

Lyn's bridesmaids will be in a latte color (almost a mocha color) and I, as the Maid of Honor, will wear "butterscotch." She just got the swatches in and the colors are really nice, although it looks like I'll need to be a lot tanner for November than I am now!

After Dolores', we headed to the Park Avenue Bridals, where Lyndsey and I got our wedding dresses. They offer their brides a 10% discount on bridesmaid, mother of the bride, and flower girl dresses and since the salon is close enough for most of my girls, I wanted to make my final decision there.

Since I was so uncertain about the Alexia dress, I had Lyndsey and Amanda try on this Bill Levkoff dress that I had also liked.

While it looked great on the girls and had a really nice navy color, it had crinoline underneath the skirt. Now, the crinoline would keep the girls nice and warm for any outside pictures but may make them really hot and uncomfortable during the reception. And I would so rather my girls be dancing it up and having a great time than being bundled for the few pictures we may not even take outside.

So I once again looked back at the Alexia dress and realized that I still really loved it, iridescent taffeta and all. The taffeta actually makes the dress "glisten" which fits perfectly with my snowy theme.

When I looked at the tiny little swatch again, I was relieved that the color was a pretty dark "royal blue" and the salesperson even helped me find a similar color on another dress. This tissue taffeta Jim Hjelm dress seemed to be the closest match and I think it looks great!

Then the best part of the day came - Lyndsey and I tried on our sample wedding dresses again! They weren't fitted of course, but it was so fun to try them on again after a six month spell. We're going to be such beautiful brides! And what made it even better was the fact that I fell in love with it all over again :)

So the dress dilemma has been resolved and two of the 8 girls have submitted their measurements. With 10 months to go, it looks like I'm really on my way!

correction

2010-03-05T15:45:00.000-05:00

So I've been telling everyone, including my readers, that the bridesmaid dress I like is tissue taffeta. I finally double checked the dress description today and realized it's IRIDESCENT taffeta.

Does this matter? What are the pros and cons of iridescent taffeta? What are the pros and cons of taffeta in general?

I'm a pretty good planner but lately, these wedding decisions are stressing me out!

true blue

2010-03-03T18:30:00.003-05:00

So remember the bridesmaid dress I described a couple of weeks ago? Well, despite how much I love the way it looks on the girls, I'm starting to reconsider whether or not it's the right dress after all.

Since winter/snowflakes are the theme of my wedding, I was planning on putting the girls in dark blue so the white muffs would really stand out. The dress I've chosen so far (click here for the link) is made out of iridescent tissue taffeta and is photographed in the color "Bordeaux."

The blue options Alexia Designs offers are "Desert Blue," "Sky Blue," "Peacock," "Turquoise" and "Royal Blue." Even though "Royal Blue" is the darkest of the bunch, when I change the dress color on the Web site, it looks a little bright for my winter wedding. And while I know the colors on my computer screen are just meant for representation, blah blah blah, I'm still really worried that my girls will look like blueberries as they walk down the aisle!

Since there is no other sample of Alexia Designs dresses in Royal Blue tissue taffeta, I had to rely on Google images to provide me some examples.

Here's one that I think is a little too electric for a snowflake wedding...

This one is not tissue taffeta but is a little bit closer to my vision. I would still want it just a shade darker:

And finally, this is the color that I hope Alexia Designs' "Royal Blue" turns out to be. While it's not as deep as my original idea of navy, it's dark enough for the vision I have.

I know my bridal salon will give me a swatch but those things are so small that it really won't give me any peace of mind.

So what do I do? Would even the most electric blue of this bunch be terrible? Should I look for another dress that has a safer blue? Or should I realize that no one is even going to notice the slight nuance in the shades, not even I?

bride guide

2010-02-26T18:27:00.002-05:00

I "stumbled upon" this interesting article tonight on Here Comes The Guide and I thought I'd share the Top Ten Rules for Brides to live by. While I did not write these items, I will bold the statements to which I can personally relate.

1. Remember, your mother is only a temporary enemy.

At times it may seem like your mother’s desires are not aligned with yours, and that she has completely lost sight of the fact that this is your wedding. Don’t despair. Eventually, because she is an oxygen breather like you, she will inhale that big gulp of air and calm down. When she does, take a deep breath yourself. Then you can begin restoring the natural balance between you, going from Raving Neurotic Bitch Dictator vs. Resentful Trembling 3-Year-Old back to Loving Mother and Competent Daughter. One day, hopefully in the not-too-distant future, you can sit down to afternoon tea and laugh your butts off over the whole thing.

2. Have a little respect for Daddy’s credit card.

Someone has to pay for the most important day of your life, and if that person happens to be your father, don’t max out his credit card just because you can. After all, if you don’t leave him enough money for his retirement, he might have to come live with you!

3. Stick to recognizable food and your reception will go well.

“Recognizable” doesn’t mean you can’t slip in a little tofu or some whole grains. Just make sure that whatever you’re serving looks familiar enough to eat. Avoid questionable presentations (hmmm, perhaps that salmon mousse does look a little off-putting with the fish head and tail attached), anything with tentacles, and sauces that have been color-enhanced to match the mauve tablecloths.

4. If you feel you must invite old boyfriends, invite only the ones who can’t attend.

Ponder this one, grasshopper. There is great wisdom here.

5. Don’t forget: that man in the corner is your fiancé.

While you may have intended to plan the entire wedding yourself, consider including him in the process. Because he loves you, he’ll tag along with you to the florist, caterer, photographer and wedding planner. And because he loves you, he’ll forgive you for saying stream-of-consciousness things like, “Oh honey don’t you just love this it’s so adorable how does it look on me oooh I just have to have it!” Even though he probably won’t share your boundless enthusiasm for picking out party favors or linens, he’ll do what he can—chauffeur you around and say “uh-huh” a lot, despite the fact that he really doesn’t understand much of what’s going on.

6. It’s OK to wear comfortable shoes under your long wedding gown.

Really, nobody will ever know if you wear flats. People will say your gait is remarkably relaxed and that you look radiant (who wouldn’t be radiant when her toes have been liberated from pointy pearl-encrusted torture devices?) You can always change into your stilettos for the garter ceremony, where tradition requires only a brief exposure of your shapely leg and prettily clad foot. Once the garter ritual is over, you can revert to your comfy footwear, having completely avoided any podiatric pain.

7. Be realistic—most men won’t care if your tablecloths are seafoam or sage.

With the exception of No. 4 (which only your fiancé would really care about anyway), try to remember that fussing over a wedding is mostly a girl thing. It’s not that guys don’t appreciate the effort or the symbolism, it’s just that they know they’re nowhere near as good at weddings as women are. If your husband-to-be really isn’t interested in becoming your planning assistant, don’t call off the wedding. After all, this may be the one time in your mate’s life when he’s willing to concede expertise to somebody who’s more qualified.

8. Never hire a wedding planner whose accent intimidates you.

Even worse, don’t hire one you can’t understand. Remember Martin Short’s heavily accented wedding planner in Father of the Bride? Nobody could quite figure out what he was saying and everyone was too cowed to ask. They gave him carte blanche and he did deliver a gorgeous wedding, but he also took the parents to the cleaners in the process.
So beware of relinquishing total control to the coordinator, or you might end up with just the trip to the cleaners.

9. Don’t write your own vows unless you’ve won a Pulitzer.

Millions of people spent hundreds of years reaching agreement on the “in sickness and in health” stuff. But, if you must boldly go where most women haven’t gone before, make sure you: 1) Don’t use “really, really, really” as a way of expressing intensity; 2) try not to say “I,” “me” or “my” more than 80 times as it will set off alarm bells in your groom’s mind; 3) keep the speech under 45 minutes because some guests will need a bathroom break after all that champagne.

10. This is about more than just you.

Marriage is a public celebration that involves you, the man you marry and both of your worlds. As much as your nearest and dearest care about the artfulness of your event, they care even more about having a meaningful experience. If you smile and roll gracefully with the punches on your Big Day, everyone will bask in your graciousness and go home savoring the lovely time they had.

muffs are in!

2010-02-25T18:00:00.002-05:00

I'm very excited because the white faux fur muffs that I ordered from SewUDesigns on Etsy (thanks for recommendation Julie!) have just arrived at Momzilla's house and although I haven't seen them yet, MZ says they're beautiful!

Since I am planning a "snowy" wedding and do not want many flowers other than my bouquet and my sister's bouquet, here's what my 7 bridesmaids and 2 Juniors will be carrying down the aisle.

Aren't they different? I think the bridesmaids will appreciate having something to keep their hands toasty, especially since I'm praying to the Snow Gods that we have a little bit of white on the wedding day!

I know there are seasonal flowers that I could have used but I just wanted to stick with my theme. This may sound pessimistic (but if you know me, you know I'm quite the opposite!) but I love the "deadness" of winter, which is why I'm also planning on replacing floral reception centerpieces with white branches!

I'm glad I'll be able to bring the muffs when my bridesmaids order their dresses in the next month. The white is going to pop against the dark blue dresses. I'm also glad I got them out of the way so I don't have to worry later on about any timelines. These muffs were handmade and so the ordering process took about 3 weeks. SewUDesigns worked pretty fast but it still might have made me nervous had I waited until a month before.

The best part about these muffs? They only cost me $20 each! That's about a third of the cost bridesmaids bouquets would have been. Just another reason why I love having a winter wedding :)

Along with the muffs I also ordered this wrap for myself. I love it!! It's ivory and lined with fleece to keep my shoulders warm during our outdoor pics.

So yet another thing checked off my wedding to-do list! I'm really proud of myself for being proactive and doing things early enough. Sometimes I can be a bit of a procrastinator!

Thoughts on the muffs? Love 'em? Think they're too corny?

Don't worry; even if you do, I'm still making my girls wear 'em!

"stumbling upon" inspiration

2010-02-21T16:57:00.001-05:00

I love wedsites (wedding+website=wedsite) and regularly check the blogs listed on the side of my own. But lately, I feel like they've only been featuring contests, engagement sessions or designer wedding dresses. And while looking at pictures of couples sitting in armchairs in the middle of the woods is fun, I want more. I want inspiration!

For my fellow wedsite junkies, Stumble Upon is a great way of discovering new sites. My father has been sending me sites he found through Stumble Upon for a while but I never bothered to join myself. I finally did and now I can see why it's so addicting!

After you join, it will ask you to check off different areas and topics that you enjoy searching on the web. Then you click "START STUMBLING!" and it will bring you to websites that fit the criteria you selected. From there, it's almost like the shuffle feature on your iPod; each time you click "Stumble!" a website with content fitting the topics you like will be randomly displayed.

How does this fit into wedsites? Easy. Once you've stumbled onto a page, you can conduct your own search (as long as it's a topic on StumbleUpon) and it will generate websites that fit only that topic. Wanna take a guess what I typed in? That's right, Weddings!

I think I "stumbled" for about two hours the first night I tried it and I found some really fun wedsites! Some were about etiquette, some were photography blogs, and some were the little, unknown blogs by brides (similar to mine) that don't necessarily show up on a Google search.

So what are you waiting for? Who knows what you might "stumble upon?!"

first impressions

2010-02-17T19:22:00.002-05:00

When I first created my wedding budget, I didn't allocate much to the invitation department. But the more wedding blogs I read, the more I'm starting to become brainwashed by stationery companies who remind me that first impressions mean everything.

I still don't believe in spending a fortune on wedding invitations (they usually get tossed in the garbage!) but I began thinking outside of the box in terms of style and design.

Luckily, I found a great vendor on etsy.com, who not only has the perfect design to fit my snowflake/DIY motif but is also really affordable. I'd post an example but I want my guests to be surprised!

So now that I have invitations in mind, I am contemplating whether or not I should hire a calligrapher to address the envelopes. There are a couple of calligraphers that have decent prices and cute handwriting but Momzilla doesn't think they are "formal" enough.

First, there's Swoon Over It. Amanda, the calligrapher, has three different styles. This isn't the one I would pick but it's the only image I could find on the web!

Her pricing starts at $0.95 an envelope.

Then there's Blink Calligraphy by one of my favorite wedding bloggers, Preppy Bride at 2365. Apparently she shares my love for wedding planning and DIY projects!

Below are the styles I like but again, Momzilla doesn't think it's fancy enough for a wedding. Her pricing starts at $0.75 an envelope.

Then there's Calligraphy by Michele, run by a woman who lives really close to my parents so it would be quite convenient to drop off and pick up the envelopes. This is the only calligrapher to whom MZ gave approval.

Her pricing starts at $1.15 an envelope. But I suppose I save on shipping since it would be local.

And last but not least, there's one more calligraphy option. Yours Truly. I signed up for an 8-session calligraphy class that will begin next week and I'm hoping my $95 enrollment fee will make me good enough to address my own invitations and then some. Who knows, maybe I can begin my own calligraphy service one day!

So what do you think? Is calligraphy worth it? If so, which style do you like?

Or do you think I'm making a big fuss over nothing and should just run the envelopes through the printer for free? :)

One style fits all?

2010-02-08T21:14:00.001-05:00

I've finally begun searching for bridesmaid dresses and despite the anxiety I had about finding one dress to please all 8 of my girls, I'm pretty certain I found one that fit the bill.

My bridesmaids are all different shapes and sizes. Some are very short while others are pretty tall. Some have more curves than others. So I had no idea how I was going to find one dress that flattered each of their bodies when their bodies were so different.

So how did I do it? Two words.

Taffeta Ruching

I know, I know. Taffeta just screams "Ugly Bridesmaid Dress!" and I was pretty anti-taffeta myself. But I humored the dress consultant and I allowed my sister to try on the dress on the right below.

When my sister walked out, lo and behold, I was pleasantly surprised! The dress looked great and, according to her, felt really comfortable. She decided this dress was her favorite compared to the other satin ones she modeled.

But my sister is only one of 8 bridesmaids and while it looked fabulous on her, I needed to do more research. I brought in my roommate and future sister-in-law for their opinions. Both looked at the dress on the hanger, gave me a doubtful look, but tried on the dress anyway.

The verdict?

They loved it.

I would still like the approval of my remaining bridesmaids before I commit to it, but I am pretty certain they're going to feel the same way. The combination of taffeta and ruching seems to flatter most body types, which is not what I had expected at first look.

So the moral of the story? Try on dresses that you normally wouldn't have chosen and you just might find the dress you're looking for!

Countdown begins!

2010-02-04T19:15:00.001-05:00

Now that the wedding is under a year (345 days from this entry, to be exact!), I've started concentrating on all the little projects and purchases that I don't want to deal with later. And while 345 days sounds like a long time, the first year of my engagement flew by so quickly that I'm starting to getting anxious.

After my experience watching my future sister-in-law plan her wedding, I saw just how chaotic and busy it becomes the month or two before the wedding. Nancy was worrying about tracking down missing RSVPs, organizing the seating arrangement, selecting the church readings, planning the rehearsal dinner AND working full-time! By the time I approached her with my ideas for programs, she was so overwhelmed that she didn't care about their design anymore.

I don't want the clock to beat me! I don't want the chaos and insanity to squash all my creativity! So I've decided to work on the little things now instead of later.

So what CAN be done so far in advance? Here's what I've begun:

Place card holders
Monogram design
Program design
Menu design
Table names
Table name design

January 15, 2011 seems so distant right now but with all the other events going on this year (weddings, baby showers, elections), I want to finish anything that can be done during non-busy times.

Your wedding countdown is very sneaky. It tries to convince you that each day you have left is devoted entirely to your wedding. Even someone like me, who loves this stuff, cannot dedicate the remainder of this year to just planning her wedding! I have relationships to maintain, friends to keep and a full-time job to pay for all these wedding expenses! And there are some projects that may take me much longer than I had anticipated. It's better to do a little each day than to kill yourself trying to do everything in just one.

So brides, get done what you can NOW; don't wait until later.

In the words Thomas Jefferson,

"Never put off till tomorrow what can be done today!"

so if you like to party, get on and move your body!

2010-01-14T13:24:00.006-05:00

We finally booked our limo this past weekend with Romantique Limos and I'm pleased to announce that Gianfranco thought the limo bus was fantastic. I don't think he realized the awesomeness of a 40-passenger party bus until he stepped aboard. With the five TV screens, three tables and one restroom, how could you NOT be amazed? I tried to post the images on Romantique's web site but I don't think it's very clear.

We also ended up booking a 1949 black Cadillac, whose picture I can't seem to steal from the website at all, to transport me and my father from my house to the church. At first I was planning on using the traditional white Rolls Royce but after some consideration, I decided to go black instead for three reasons.

My sister is using the white one for her own wedding and I think it would be nice to have two different color cars.
I think the whiteness of my dress will contrast beautifully with the blackness of the car.
As a Classics lover, I think the black Caddy represents the "true" 50s look.

Now, I've already received a couple of criticisms, :ahem, Renee: about spending so much money on transportation. To you naysayers, I realize I'm spending a fortune on something I will only use for three hours of my life. I recognize that I'm being a hypocrite by refusing to spend money on nice clothes but shelling out thousands for such an insignificant item. I know it is just one day.

But that's it. It's just ONE day. How often am I ever going to ride in a black Cadillac? Or party on a huge limo bus with my favorite friends and family? Probably never again. So let me splurge on the one day of my life where I'm actually opening my wallet, will you?!

What do the rest of you think? Is the party bus a ridiculous waste or an awesome idea? Sound off!

guess who's back?!

2010-01-09T13:25:00.013-05:00

I have returned! I apologize for my hiatus but my computer crashed over a month ago and it took this long to get a new one.

Since I've last written, I received a DVD of our engagement photos. Papillio did such a great job with them that I wanted to display just some of my favorites. With over 400 pictures from which I could choose, it was hard narrowing it down!

We spent the day at Horse Sleigh Farm in Washington Township, NJ. Because our original date was rained out, we had to wait until after Halloween to take the pictures and as you can imagine, the pumpkin selection after October is pretty sparse.

Thanks to our wonderful photographers, David and Irene, we were able to utilize our surroundings and make the best of what was left on the farm. In the end, we managed to take some pretty amazing shots!

First we started off in the corn stalks. This farm had a really cool corn maze so we were able to surround ourselves in stalk.

Can you find us?!

The owner of the farm was kind enough to let us pose on his John Deere tractor. Personally, I think the shots by the tractor are my favorite, especially since Gianfranco will probably never be that close to such large machinery again in his life!

After the tractor, we did some rolling around in the hay. Well, maybe not rolling; it was more like jumping! Below are some of the fun shots we took and you can really see Gianfranco's excitement in one of them.

Then we just took a couple of pictures around the farm.

Although we did take a few pumpkin shots, we left the farm in search for a bigger selection. On the way, David and Irene spotted this creepy but cool abandoned building where we stopped to take a couple of more pictures.

In the end, we finally managed to find an open pumpkin farm. We were there for about five minutes when an angry man comes running over to tell us we were trespassing on his farm. Once we explained what we were doing, he did allow us to stay but by that point we were so frazzled that we quickly snapped a couple in front of the pumpkins and headed on our way.

Moral of the story - "Where there's a farm, there's a farmhouse near by!"

o, holy night!

2009-11-23T23:20:00.003-05:00

Even though the church was the first thing we booked upon getting engaged nine months ago, Gianfranco and I only met with the priest for the first time tonight. As I may have mentioned before, we are getting married on January 15, 2011 at 3pm at the Church of St. Clare and the Monsignor of the parish, Father Richard, will marry us.

My family was never very religious so I will admit that I was a bit nervous about tonight's meeting. But after my initial conversation with the Father, I felt a lot better about the whole situation. Father Richard was friendly and warm and genuinely seemed interested in getting to know us. I look forward to future meetings when he can learn enough about us to deliver a really personal ceremony.

Included in our church materials was a really interesting article from Catholic Update that presented ten questions each couple should discuss before marriage. At first glance, I assumed the article would be filled with outdated religious advice. When I acutally looked at the questions, however, I was surprised to see how relevant the topics were.

So after reading the article, I've decided to start a little mini-series of blog entries surrounding each question. I'd love to get input and opinions from everyone, married or not.

Stay tuned!

engagement photos!!!

2009-11-12T23:20:00.003-05:00

We took our engagement photos on Sunday at Horse Sleigh Farm and boy, did we have a fantastic day! Our photographers, Papillio Photography, whom I'm constantly praising, did such a great job at capturing me and Gianfranco at our best.

I plan on posting a couple of my favorite pictures once I get a DVD from Papillio but in the meantime, feel free to check them out yourself.

Go to

www.collages.net

username: my last name (if you don't know it, you can email me)
password: 27551-my last name

Enjoy!

Wedding Tip #12

2009-10-28T22:20:00.002-04:00

Here's a tip for brides who've finally finished their seating arrangements and want a quick and easy way of transferring the arrangement from paper to placecard.

Nancy had thought her RSVPs were no longer important once the final list was compiled but I had other ideas. Her responses were already somewhat organized by last name but we started by putting them in alphabetical order.

Then, we first marked the table number in the top right hand corner of each card. We also confirmed the names indicated on the RSVP. We figured most guests responded to the wedding the same way they'd want to be addressed on their escort cards.

When it came time to make the placecards (we printed them ourselves), all we had to do was type in the names and table number already marked on the card. They were already in alphabetical order so once they were printed, they were ready to go to the hall!

here come the brides!

2009-10-12T14:14:00.012-04:00

I am older than my only sibling, Lyndsey, by 3 years. It's actually 2 years and 50 weeks, but who's counting? And while I am entirely grateful for having a sister now that I am an adult, I didn't feel as lucky as a kid.

Having a little sister then meant sharing toys and attention - two things that had been soley mine in the years before her birth. If you've ever been honored with the chance to watch my home videos, you would see how the footage drastically shifts from Nicole (their firstborn!!!) to Lyndsey (the BABY). In the background, you would see my desperate attempt to hold onto their focus, but to no avail.

But as we got older and developed our own personalities and friends and interests, we began to appreciate each other instead of envy. Somehow, my annoying sister became my closest confidant.

Now Lyndsey and I are planning our weddings together and we'll be getting married about two months apart from each other. People ask if I'm upset my sister is getting married before I and I truthfully tell them no. Lyndsey and Eric have been together for 8 years so I had already gotten used to the fact that my baby sister would be married first. I am thrilled about their engagement and so honored to be part of the planning process. I suppose it's the short 7 weeks between our two weddings that concerns me the most. How are we ever going to manage being both the bride AND the Maid of Honor?

As Nancy's wedding is approaching, I've been helping her out with all the last minute details. I just want to make sure that my own wedding plans won't interfere with my ability to be my sister's go-to girl when her time comes. On the other hand, I also don't want my sister's Maid of Honor duties to make her even more stressed as she gets closer to her big day.

So what do all of you think? Has anyone else out there been in the same/similar situation? How can we balance the two weddings without going nuts?!

another website to love!

2009-10-09T13:28:00.003-04:00

Found this cute and affordable website while I was helping my sister's future sister-in-law with favors for her son's upcoming Christening. Thought I would share it to all my readers. It's called LMK Gifts and they offer edible favors at a really reasonable price. They also have some invitations that are even cheaper than my favorite site, Tickled Pink Design!

Definitely check them out!

wedding dress - CHECK!

2009-10-07T23:40:00.001-04:00

I know I promised to write about my experience dress shopping and then I got lazy. Damn Sims 3! But here it is:

I went to get my bridesmaid dress fitted at Park Avenue Bridals the other night for Nancy's wedding and decided to try on a couple of wedding gowns myself. With the wedding still a little over a year away, I really didn't want to make such a big purchase so far in advance but I figured it wouldn't hurt to try some on.

About five dresses in, I put on this beautiful gown. It had a beaded bodice and a beautiful train. Momzilla loved it, MoH loved it, even Grandma loved it. I loved it. But when MZ asked if I wanted to buy it that night, I hesitated. I claimed that while I loved it, I just wasn't ready to decide just yet. As I stepped out of the dress, the consultant gave me this piece of advice:

"Buying a wedding dress is like finding Mr. Right. When it's the right one, you'll just know."

As she said this, I nodded my head but didn't really believe her words. I mean, I tried on some gorgeous dresses at Enzo but still wasn't ready to commit. Why was this time going to be any different? And yes, I was sure about Gianfranco the minute I met him, but I was pretty indecisive about all the relationships before him. I just didn't think I'd be able to make this decision as easily as the consultant hoped.

So now I'm down to the last two dresses. Momzilla is yelling outside of the dressing room that the shop is closing soon so I make a quick decision to try on just ONE of the dresses.

Let me tell you, I fell in love the second I put it on. I walked out to the mirror and just loved how I looked and how I felt. I thought of the church doors opening and my walking down the aisle in this dress. I thought of how Gianfranco would look when he saw me in it. And as the tears started swelling up in my eyes, I knew that it was the dress for me.

Note: While I love sharing the excitement of finding my dress, I will NOT share the photos until after the wedding day! Gotta leave some surprise for my guests!

So we bought it! And as luck would have it, Lyndsey, my sister, ALSO found her wedding dress! It was a gorgeous gown displayed in the window that was actually made by the same designer as my dress!

The wedding dresses are done for me and Lyndsey and while I am so happy we both found dresses we love, trying on dresses together wasn't the best idea and I'll be discussing the pros and cons of sharing the wedding planning process in my next entry.

Stay tuned!

flower shower

2009-09-28T21:03:00.008-04:00

I know it's been forever since I've last posted but I have a legitimate excuse! Gianfranco bought me Sims 3 for our 2 year anniversary and if you've ever played the Sims, you'll know where the hours in my evening have gone.

So without further delay, I present the little details from Nancy's shower...

First, the invitation. If you've been following my blog you won't be surprised to know we ordered these cute "Here Come the Bridesmaids" invitations from Tickled Pink Design. Once again, I can't say enough about this place! The stationery is affordable and adorable and the customer service is great. Since February, I've already ordered 3 sets of invitations and have been really pleased with all of them. Below is a copy of the invitation that was framed by one of Nancy's mother's friend's. Look how cute!

Included with the invitation was this poem, which was (mostly) written by yours truly:

"Nancy will want her house to be spic and span
And in order to help, we've come up with a plan
Of a wishing well of items to pick up the dirt
Like sponges and dusters and Windex to squirt
Paper towels like Bounty or detergent like Tide
Will all be appreciated by our soon-to-be bride
So wrap it in tissue paper and your name do not spell
It's just a little something to wish Nancy well!"

To make her wishing well a little less traditional, I copied this creative idea from my sister's future sister-in-law's shower. We took a mop and stuck it upside down inside a hamper. I blew up a picture of Nancy's face and taped it to the mop so that the yarn looked like Nancy's hair (even though she's a brunette!). We also tied an apron around the mop to give the illusion of Nancy's body. It was quite a hit!

Next were the favors. Luckily for us, Nancy already knew she wanted lip balms so all we had to do was find the cheapest vendor. Danielle, Nancy's cousin and Maid of Honor, found us a great deal at Accent The Party. Definitely check them out!

Of course, these weren't her favors (those aren't their names!) but I wanted to give you an idea of what they looked like.

Nancy loves Gerbera daisies so we thought using them as a centerpiece would make our bride happy. I had seen a picture of gerbera daisies in a square vase with green lime slices floating around in the water. I fell in love. Unfortunately, these centerpieces didn't really fit in our budget so we decided to use tall vases from Ikea instead. We still added in the limes and for an extra effect, we placed them on round mirrors.

I think they came out really pretty!

Initially, I had suggested assigned seating for the shower. I thought flower chocolate lollipops would be a cute way of leading guests to their seats. In the end, my future mother-in-law decided against it (which she later regretted - so words of wisdom!) but we had already bought all of the ingredients so we made the lollis anyway.

Using flower molds, we first "painted" the inner circles with yellow chocolate and let them set. Once they were hard enough, we then filled in the rest of the flower with different colors - red, pink, orange and purple. We covered them in clear bags and stuck them in a long green styrofoam board. When we were originally conceiving this idea, we were going to glue fake grass on the foam board to give the illusion of a "garden" but since we were only going to hand them out at the end of the party, we decided it wasn't necessary. Either way, they still came out adorable and delicious!

Now if someone can show me how to upload files on Blogger, please let me know! I'd love to share the games we played: "Wedding Word Scramble," "Purse Pursuit" and "A Lesson In Nancy." If not, the first two can be easily found online and the last one is just a personal version of "How Well Do You Know the Bride?" We also found out how well Nancy knew Jay, her fiance, by asking him questions before the shower and seeing if Nancy could match them. For every right answer she gave, she got to kiss a blown up picture of Jay's face. For every wrong answer, she had to chew another piece of bubble gum. All in all, she did pretty well!

It was a great shower and all the hard work paid off. As I mentioned in my last entry, having all of the bridesmaids work together was really the key to success. Brainstorming, creating and executing everything is too much for just one person. I'm glad we didn't have to learn the hard way!

Stay tuned for more wedding plans...

shower post-mortem

2009-09-14T21:16:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was my future sister-in-law's Bridal Shower and while she wasn't quite surprised, she did seem to have a great time. Everything turned out just the way we planned; the food was delicious, the games were entertaining, the centerpieces were beautiful and the bride was blushing!

So after organizing my first bridal shower, what did I learn?

It takes a bridal party to plan a shower. The Mother of the Bride or the Maid of Honor would go crazy if she had no help from the bridal party. Between wrapping favors and managing the RSVPs, the entire bridal party remained involved. I keep reminding Momzilla that as much as she loves party planning, she won't be able to do it alone. She'll need to consult with the bridesmaids on advice, opinions and just plain old labor. And while my bridesmaids are all good friends, that isn't the case with every bridal party. Sidenote: Planning the shower may also give the girls a chance to bond before the big day.
Sweat the small stuff. While you shouldn't agonize over the tiniest detail, it's important to keep organized because there are so many little things involved with a shower. Parties in general require attention to detail but bridal and baby showers tend to follow a "schedule" of serving food, playing games and opening presents. We had to remember a poem for the Wishing Well, garbage bag for the wrapping paper and pens for the games. Good thing there were so many of us or else I'm sure we would have forgotten something!
Wear a watch. I'm sure most bridal showers experience the same "mistakes" of spending too much time on silly things and not enough time on the important things. In retrospect, we waited too long to bring the bride to the party (partly my fault!) and we didn't give ourselves the time we needed to open her presents. And while most guests hate sitting through hours of unwrapping, it's nice to be able to spend the time thanking each guest after opening the present. Otherwise, you're being rushed through the entire thing!
Bring sexy back! Okay, maybe this doesn't apply to ALL showers but I was certainly surprised by the fun reaction to all the lingerie she got. We had hung up a clothesline and pinned on lots of sexy panties for her to keep; we even displayed one of her fiance's boxer shorts! And although I was a little nervous about my future family's reaction, I had no need to be. They played right along and even gave a couple of naughty contributions themselves (one of her grandmother's friend's gave her a sexy nurse's uniform!).

I'm sure there are lots of other lessons I learned but for the sake of this entry, I decided to keep it short. In the next one, I'll show all the creative things we made for the shower in case you want some inspiration.

In the meantime, do you have any other thoughts or advice for planning a shower? I have to plan at least two more next year so any words of wisdom would be appreciated!

sister of the bride

2009-09-05T02:32:00.004-04:00

Just a quick announcement that my sister and Maid of Honor, Lyndsey, got engaged tonight! It was such a great night and her fiance really surprised her!

She and he had come up to visit me and Gianfranco for some dinner and board games. After quite the long sushi dinner (waiting for a table took nearly an hour!), we came back to my apartment and began to play Cranium, Lyndsey's favorite game. Her fiance was dealt a "Creative Cat" card that required him to sculpt an item out of clay for her to guess. He molded the clay into the shape of an engagement ring and when she correctly guessed it, he then got down on his knee and pulled out a real one!

Once she finally said "yes!" we went to surprise Momzilla. You can only imagine her response when she saw the ring on my sister's finger! There were no words, just a loud scream. Then she ran upstairs and quickly found the shirt she had been dying to wear - a white tee-shirt that reads, "Mother of the Brides." How fitting.

So now I'm super excited! Not only am I planning my wedding to the love of my life, but I'm doing it alongside my best friend! Momzilla is ready to pass out with excitement and Dad, well, let's just say he'll have to start cutting back on some luxuries!

I'll keep you posted but in the meantime, I wish nothing but love and happiness to my sister and future brother-in-law!

always a bridesmaid...

2009-08-31T23:07:00.000-04:00

Months before we were even engaged, my roommate Jamie and I were discussing our potential bridal party members. We sat down in Subway and made lists for each other. Jamie's number was slightly above average, but not by much. Mine, on the other hand, made Jamie almost spit out her Diet Coke. I had thirteen girls. Plus two junior bridesmaids.

Jamie pointed out that if Gianfranco were able to match me in numbers (doubtful) then there would be approximately 30 people standing by the altar (ridiculous). So as I got closer to my engagement, I sat down and really started reassessing my list. I loved all of my friends but I had to look at the bridal party as a whole and really think about how convenient it would be for each member. Some girls lived far away while others had lots of extracirricular activities going on. And not that I was afraid my Bridezilla demands would be too much to handle, I just didn't want to put any extra burdens on the other bridesmaids.

In the end, I was able to bring it down to 8 bridesmaids and 2 juniors. While still a little more than most brides have, it was way more reasonable. But lately, my engaged friends and I have been looking at our bridal party wistfully, hoping we didn't offend the friends we love but couldn't include. So, it makes me wonder, in a Carrie-esque way:

When it comes to your bridesmaids, just how many is too many?

According to The Knot, tradition uses the guest list size to determine how many attendants would be appropriate. I've heard of having one bridesmaid for every 50 guests. So, if you were having around 200 guests, you would have anywhere between 4-6 girls. For a smaller wedding, you would have fewer.

But I'm not really caring about tradition or what looks good or bad in pictures. I'm not thinking about how much each bridesmaid costs the bride. In my opinion, you should include the girls with whom you are the closest, whether this number is 2 or 20. And while most people would argue that having 20 bridesmaids can create a circus, I'd have to disagree!

Overall, I think it's the type not the number of bridesmaids you have. You could have only two bridesmaids and they can either fight with each other so much that nothing gets done or be nonchalant about the whole thing and nothing gets done. I chose the 8 girls in my bridal party because in the end, I think their personalities fit the best. I have some with "take charge" attitudes and some with "follow the leader" mentalities. And even though 8 sounds like a lot, I think they will be able to work well together, which is extremely important.

As for the other girls I had originally wanted, I decided to honor them in other ways. I wanted them to still feel part of my wedding so I'm having them help with creating my overnight baskets, my DIY projects, handing out the programs at the church, bringing up the gifts during the ceremony, and coordinating with the vendors on the actual wedding day. Just because they aren't wearing a bridesmaid dress doesn't mean they aren't special enough to be involved in the planning process.

So what do you think? Am I as crazy as Gianfranco thinks I am for having 8 girls in my bridal party? What are the pros and cons of having a large party? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

t minus 17 months

2009-08-26T20:25:00.000-04:00

I've returned from Italy! It was gorgeous and Gianfranco's family was wonderful! And now, after two weeks of pasta, afternoon naps and gelato, I am looking forward to the crazy days ahead. With four weddings and a bridal shower over the next two months, Gianfranco will have no other choice but to think about wedding festivities which means I get to do some more planning!

When I finally checked my inbox after the trip, I found an email from The Knot reminding me that I had 17 months to go until my wedding. Seventeen months. I know it sounds like an eternity to most of you but having started my planning at 23 months, I am amazed at how quickly the time has gone. What once began as a pretty long engagement has now become the average length, according to this 2007 Bridal Association of America's Wedding Report.

I probably would no longer feel embarrassed telling people my wedding date except there are plenty out there who forget that we are almost in 2010 and January is the beginning of 2011. Believe it or not, 2011 is not that far away! And with FSIL Nancy's wedding at the end of October and with the holidays consuming most of November and all of December, that means January 2010 will be here before I know it. Then I'll be down to a year.

Yes, I know, I'm rushing past the next four months but I think for once, they will also be rushing past me. As one of Nancy's bridesmaids, I've been quite involved in her wedding planning and will be extremely busy helping her get ready for the big day.

So, what's up next, you ask? Here's my agenda:

Check out limos
Check out florists
Finish planning Nancy's shower
Create Nancy's ceremony programs

Since I don't want Nancy to know anything about her shower, I'll try to blog as abstractly as possible. Once it's over, I'll be able to give more details of how the whole planning process went.

So don't worry; I am back and ready to plan! Stay tuned!

disco d.i.y.

2009-08-03T20:49:00.001-04:00

Lyn and I were on a mission to do something different for our mother's party. We just had my engagement dinner in June so we didn't want to have another sit down dinner at a restaurant. MZ was born in 1959 and was in her prime during the disco craze of the 70s. All of a sudden, we thought of two words. Disco. Party. My main concern, however, was knowing how to plan a party like this without the expertise of Momzilla. She's fantastic at organizing events and without her guidance, I was scared everything would fall apart!

To get things started, we ordered her invitations from Tickled Pink Design, the same place from which I ordered my engagement invitations. Let me tell you, I simply LOVE this company. They are not only affordable but extremely professional. The invitations came out adorable! I highly recommend them.

Now to keep costs down (we knew Momzilla would want it that way!), we decided to do a couple of things ourselves. We made our own disco ball out of a styrofoam ball and old CDs and our own lollipop favors out of different colored chocolates. Both were a huge hit at the party!

To make the party a little more sentimental we created a big 5-0 out of old pictures as well as a sweet photo montage of Mom through the years. I think the guests really enjoyed seeing themselves on the big screen!

My favorite point of the party was at the end when I started taking pictures of everyone in the 70s Afro wig we brought for my mother. I don't want to embarrass too many people so I'll only show my parents in it. Lookin' groovy, Mom & Dad!

Overall, it was a fun night. Mom was surprised and my sister and I managed to pull off our first event without MZ's help! Many thanks to all the friends and family who helped us prepare for the night, especially Best Man Frank and Groomsman Rob - who kept the disco tunes pumping! He's available for all types of events too so check out his website and tell him I sent you!

Now that Mom's party is over, I can focus on the next event - future sister-in-law Nancy's bridal shower! Stay tuned!

wedding guests tell all

2009-08-02T23:10:00.005-04:00

Sorry I've been a little MIA lately. Momzilla turned 50 in June and my sister and I planned a surprise party for her this weekend. We spent the last few weeks working on a bunch of fun things to make the party extra special and I'll try my hardest to post some pictures this week.

In the meantime, check out this funny article that was passed on to me (thanks, Deena!) that I thought brides and wedding guests alike would enjoy...

sometimes work is the best place to shower!

2009-07-28T21:55:00.000-04:00

Two of my coworkers-slash-friends, Mel and Mary are getting married this fall (to their significant others - NOT to each other!) and I, along with the rest of the ladies in the office, had a little surprise dinner planned for them. We're a small company and we've been keeping our own tradition of "showering" our coworkers with gifts before a wedding.

Below are just a couple of pictures:

As we sat around the hibachi grill and laughed about life and work, I realized just how nice and lovely an intimate shower like this is. We all got to sit near the brides and actually talk to them. I'm usually scared to approach the bride at her shower, mainly because everyone else wants to talk to her and I don't want to interrupt her mingling.

I also like small showers like this because not only do I know when the bride is opening my gift, but I can provide any additional comments as well. At regular showers, I'm usually sitting in the back of the restaurant and mainly focused on winning Bridal Bingo. Mel and Mary were also commenting on how nice it was to take their time opening gifts rather than trying to beat the clock, because face it, it becomes quite boring watching a bride open presents for an hour and a half.

My wish? That I could have like 10 "mini" showers along the way. I wish I could split up the 80-plus people Momzilla wants to invite into smaller groups where I can actually sit and spend time with them. But alas, I know that it will not be and will just have to suck it up and practice my people skills.

But at least I can be hopeful that I, too, will have a work shower to anticipate!

i feel pretty, oh so pretty!

2009-07-26T14:17:00.002-04:00

Wedding dress shopping was nothing like I expected it to be. Maybe I went shopping too early or maybe I'm still in shock that I'm getting married or maybe I've been forced to watch way too many "Say Yes To The Dress" episodes but either way, I didn't get as emotional as I thought I would. The only thought that went through my mind was, "Hmm. So maybe I won't be an ugly bride after all."

Go ahead, laugh at me and tell me that all brides are pretty. I'm sure you're right anyway. But I don't know, I've been carrying this secret fear that maybe I won't look as pretty in my wedding pictures as everyone else does. Silly, I guess.

It was pretty surreal to stand on the little platform dressed as a princess. Even though I didn't cry, I did get a little choked up at the thought of walking down the aisle in a gorgeous white dress (clipped three times, thanks Lyn!). In the end, I discovered the dresses I liked had sweetheart tops with beaded bodies and A-line skirts. Oh, and really long trains. Long enough to take a nap on it! MZ took a bunch of pictures (illegally) but I don't want to post any of them; I plan on keeping my wedding dress top secret!!

Okay so enough about my experience. I know most of you are curious as to whether or not I received airline tickets just for trying on the dresses. Honestly, I don't have much of an answer for you. I had heard bad reviews about Enzo Bridal but my initial visit was fine. The staff was friendly enough and they had plenty of beautiful, affordable dresses. MZ was ready to buy one then and there. I had to repeatedly remind her that it was still a little early to get my dress but agreed to come back and try them on again in the fall.

In the end, the girl helping us filled out a card with the dresses I liked and indicated that I should receive airline tickets. If I decide to buy my dress there then I get upgraded to a week long cruise. I guess I won't know if I get airline tickets until I make my final dress decision. Sorry if you are disappointed - I wish I knew more!

I plan on doing some serious shopping in the fall. For now, I am just relieved that I will make a pretty bride after all!

whose wedding is it anyway?

2009-07-21T22:49:00.001-04:00

So I'm headed to Enzo Bridal tomorrow for my first shot at dress shopping. Even though the only reason I'm looking this early is because my curiosity about their promotion, I am still pretty excited to try on wedding dresses.

Now, Momzilla is a HUGE fan of "Say Yes To The Dress" on the Style Network. Anytime I'm over her house, she makes me sit and watch at least three episodes. And during every episode, she reminds me of two things:

1) She has to attend every bridal shop visit
2) She has to cry when she sees THE dress

Now, I absolutely love my mother and I value her opinion, especially when it comes to planning the wedding. She's got a great eye for detail and quite the creative imagination (which is GOOD in this case). And while I am perfectly fine having her with me at every visit, I still don't know if I agree with her second criterion.

MZ says she wants me to wear the dress that SHE thinks makes me look the most beautiful. If she doesn't cry when I walk out of the dressing room, the dress is not eligible. It's a lovely, heartfelt plan and I certainly want my mother to feel emotional when she sees me in my wedding dress but shouldn't I be the final determinant in which dress I wear? Don't I need to feel beautiful in it first? Isn't it MY dress to pick?

Just whose wedding is it anyway?!

I know, I know. My mother has been planning my wedding since the day the doctor announced she had a baby girl. She's been storing away gifts for my bridal shower since I'm, oh, 15 years old. I know she plans on decorating the house on the big day and that she wants to step out of the pews and join my father as he gives me away to Gianfranco. She's got all of plans down to the tiniest detail and I know that my wedding and my sister's wedding will be the highlights of her life.

But shouldn't it also be the highlight of mine? My mother already had her wedding back in 1981. She got to pick her hall, ask her attendants, and wear the dress of her choice. Isn't it my turn now?

I know my mother means well and I know she wants me to look breathtaking on my wedding day. I agree with her; I just want to make sure that the dress I wear is the one that takes MY breath away first.

So we'll see how tomorrow goes. Cross your fingers that the dress I ultimately buy is one that makes both me and Momzilla happy!

still looking for your wedding dress? read on!

2009-07-14T12:56:00.004-04:00

I received a postcard in the mail from Enzo Bridal that is promoting a pretty amazing deal and I figured I'd share it with anyone who hasn't bought their wedding dress yet.

According to Enzo Bridal, they are giving 2 free airline tickets to any bride who tries on a dress in their shop as long as she provides proof that she's booked a reception hall. If the bride ends up buying a dress from the shop, Enzo will upgrade her to a week-long cruise for two on either Royal Caribbean or Carnival cruise lines.

Per Momzilla's request (aka begging), I've made an appointment next week to try on a dress. Do I think this is too good to be true? Certainly. Do I have anything to lose by finding out? Absolutely not. Worst case scenario? Enzo Bridal tricked me into trying on a wedding dress a couple of months earlier than I had planned. Big deal. Best case scenario? We can remove plane tickets off our wedding budget!

So if you haven't found your wedding dress yet, I suggest checking out Enzo Bridal in the event that their promotion IS legit and you can end up with plane tickets to over 40 locations.

Or, if you can wait a few days, I'll report back and let you all know if it was all just a scam.

Stay tuned!

d.i.o. - did it ourselves!

2009-07-11T12:27:00.001-04:00

Okay sorry for not posting sooner but I had to wait for some of the pictures to arrive from the photographer (it will be obvious which ones were taken professionally and which were taken by yours truly). I wanted to show everyone the fun DIY projects MZ and I made for the dinner so here they are!

Our first project was the centerpieces. Below the picture are instructions on how we made them:

Hurricane glass decoration
Play sand
Ivory pillar candle
Sea shells
Raffia
Glue gun

Basically all she did was fill the hurricane glasses with the sand, stick the candle inside and scatter some sea shells around the candle. She then tied raffia around the outside of the hurricane glass, tied a bow and glued a sea shell on it. Presto!

Next, we wanted an appropriate way to direct our guests to their tables. Inspired by Shore Chic, I decided we could make our own starfish-in-the-sand placecards. Scroll down below to see how they were created.

Starfish
Sand dollars
Raffia
Cardstock
Elmer's Glue
Sand
Funky scissors
Hole punch
Bucket
Plastic box

First, we printed out the guest names and table numbers on different colored cardstock and cut them out with funky scrapbooking scissors. Using raffia and the hole punch, we tied the tag onto the starfish or sand dollar.

Next, we used the clear, plastic top of a serving tray (from Costco!), flipped it upside down and cut a little piece out of one of the corners. We drizzled some Elmer's Glue inside the bucket and threw sand in there to give the effect of sand pouring out of the pail. Then, we placed the bucket in the cut-out corner of the plastic "box" and taped it down.

Lastly, we dumped the sand in the "box" and stood the starfish and sand dollars in alphabetical. For a finishing touch, we also stuck the shovel in there as well.

It came out really cute and we received a lot of compliments for our creativity. In hindsight, I would have used a bigger wooden box to hold the starfish and sand dollars. We didn't really have enough for all 35 place cards.

The other big DIY project we did was a "Family Palm Tree." Remember how I mentioned in an earlier entry that I wanted a cool family tree to show how everyone was connected at the engagement dinner? Well much to the surprise of my family and friends, I made one.

There wasn't much to it; I used brown oak tag to create the palm tree trunk. Then I cut out six different palms out of green oak tag. One palm was for my immediate family, one was for my extended family and one was for my friends. I cut the same palms for Gianfranco's side as well. Then, on the appropriate palm, I wrote the names and relationship of each guest at the engagement dinner. The point of the palm tree was to show how everyone at the dinner was connected to me or Gianfranco and although it wasn't in a very noticeable spot, it still got some attention!

Some other things we did?

- One groomsman (my cousin in Mexico) and one bridesmaid (my cousin who was on vacation) were not present at the dinner so I blew up pictures of their heads and glued them on a stick. I wanted their faces to be in the bridal party pictures, whether they were real or paper.

Creepy? Yes. Hilarious? YES!

- Also shown in the above picture are the tasty treats we displayed. Even though we had a yummy cake, MZ thought it would be fun to fill beach pails with all different sorts of candy. We had lollipops, Twizzlers, Milky Ways, pretzels, etc. We also left little goody bags for our guests to bring some sweets home with them!

-We ordered the favors below, removed the pre-packaged ribbon, tied on raffia and stuck our own funky-cut thank you tag. They came out really cute!

- We also made our own napkin rings by tying the raffia into bows and gluing a seashell on top. It was a small detail but was acknowledged by many!

So there ya have it folks! I apologize for the insanely long entry but I wanted to show off MZ's hard work!

If you have any cute DIY ideas that you're planning on creating, I'd love to hear about them!

let it ride

2009-07-03T22:17:00.007-04:00

I know, I know. It's been over a week since my last post but since I promised that I would cool it with the wedding talk after the engagement dinner, I've been keeping myself busy with non-wedding related stuff.

Okay, who are we kidding? Just because I'm not talking to HIM about it doesn't mean I'm not secretly getting limo prices behind his back! That's our next booking and I figured the less he knows about my research, the saner the bride I appear to him!

So as I mentioned in an earlier post, we're going to need a couple of limousines for the big day. To refresh your memory:

1 - 10 passenger limo to take Gianfranco and the groomsmen from his house to the church
1 - 3 passenger Rolls Royce to take me, my father and my sister from my house to the church
1 - 24 passenger Party Bus to take the bridesmaids to the church and then the entire bridal party to the reception.

Can I tell you how majorly excited I am about this party bus?! I think every time I tell someone we're getting one, I also throw in how I am more pumped about the party bus than I am about the actual reception. I know it's nuts but if you've ever ridden in one before then you know what I mean.

For those of you who have no idea what a party bus is or looks like, see the picture of one below:

How cool is that?! It's like a limo but you can stand up! And there's a TV screen! Okay, I know I'm being a little ridiculous seeing as we're only riding this thing for an hour and therefore will barely even LOOK at the screen but still!

I think the only reason Gianfranco isn't more excited about booking the limo is that he has no idea how awesome it is. I really do. Once he steps on board, he will be as infatuated as I.

Anyway, this entry is not intended to gush over the party bus but rather to ask my fellow brides for their recommendations on limo companies. Since most of these limos look the same, I am relying more on referrals and prices than on personal taste.

So, who did you use? What tips can you share? What horror stories do you have?

say cheese!

2009-06-24T16:33:00.016-04:00

As I mentioned in my earlier entry, one of my photographers came to my engagement dinner to shoot some pictures. He then texted me the next morning to let me know that the proofs were already on his website! How awesome is that?!

I don't know about the rest of you but I am not really used to photographers snapping away at me as if I'm a celebrity. I've never done modeling and I don't speak at conferences. I expected my wedding day to be my only moment in the sun. But due to the kindness of Papillio, I got to have one and a half moments (I say one and a half because Gianfranco had a little bit of my sun at the dinner)! And now I want to share with you the thoughts (and pictures!) from my experience...

First, when David, the photographer, arrived, I was quite aware of his camera. While it's not necessarily a BAD thing (I was also reminded that the camera would be on me the entire wedding day!), I realize now that it may have interrupted the candid shots he was trying to take as in the picture below. As the night wore on, however, I learned to loosen up and forget that he was even there. There were several times when I purposely posed for the camera, like when Gianfranco started singing some pretty terrible karaoke, but overall, I tried to stay as natural as I could. As a result, the candid shots came out terrific!

Next, I didn't realize how poor my posture was until I saw some of these photos! Granted, I tend to lean over a lot in pictures and Gianfranco always yells at me for that but I didn't realize how crooked I am all the time! I look awful slouching over and had it not been for these shots, I wouldn't have been aware of it until my WEDDING pictures came back. I would have been so upset had I felt my wedding pictures were ruined due to my terrible posture. I'm already upset that the cake picture features my slouching. Don't lie and say that I look fine because I don't. It's even more obvious because I'm standing next to Gianfranco, who looks nice and straight...

Now, I had wanted candid shots from the beginning and after seeing the ones from our party convinced me even more. They captured not only the people and the places but the EMOTIONS as well. These shots of me and Gianfranco tell you how embarrassed and amused I was by my sweetheart's awful rendition of "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling." Can't you just HEAR me begging him to stop?!

Last, but not least, I learned how important posed photos are. I had researched photography with a snobby, "photojournalism-only" mindset. When meeting with photographers, I tended to skip over the traditional shots and look only at the candid ones. Now that I'm actually looking at the pictures, I realize just how important the traditional ones are. David took so many nice shots of our family that I decided to present them as gifts later on. I'm glad there's a picture of me and Gianfranco with our parents. Candid moments are great but twenty years from now, we'll want to remember how we looked from the frontside!

In the end, I'm so glad our photographers came. While we do have a private engagement session with them in the fall, having David snap photos in a party atmosphere taught me a lot of lessons I wouldn't have learned until my wedding day. Aside from all the points I mentioned above, I also got a chance to see him in action and I was really impressed how fast, unobtrusive and professional he was the entire evening. In the end, I think it was just as beneficial for him as well, since he got a chance to know us and our family before the big day. Plus, he got to catch a glimpse of how nutty Momzilla is!

So this entry ends with a question for you married ladies - do YOU have any advice for being photographed on your wedding day?! I'm sure there are lots of us who would appreciate your thoughts!

words of warning

2009-06-24T09:17:00.006-04:00

My future sister-in-law, Nancy, emailed me this morning in a panic. I wanted to share her story with my fellow brides:

"I finally got the favor tags in. Let me tell you that they look like sh**. 1st of all they spelled my name wrong (Nacy). 2nd- the colors that I ordered were wine and silver( it looks like red and ivory). 3rd- it looks like when they went to print them, the printer was running out of ink. I called to get a refund, and was told that there are no refund on personalized item, and because it was my mistake ( misspelling my name) they will do me a courtesy of reprinting them for me ( with my name spelled correctly) at no charge, but i have to pay for shipping. Can you believe this.

The lady that I spoke to yesterday claims that my name was spelled NACY throughout the entire order. I find that very hard to believe. Misspelling my name wrong 4 times ( shipping label, favor tags, e-mail and billing info). I can understand if i spelled it wrong 1 time, but 4 I highly doubt that. The only thing is that I remember calling and speaking to a lady on the phone to order the tags, but i cannot remember if the final order was via phone or on-line. When i asked to speak to the person that I given my order to, i was informed that she no longer works there. Go figure. Don't order anything from this website.
foreverwedstore.com.

How is your day starting out??? "

Just a reminder to keep emails and confirmations of EVERYTHING in case a vendor tries to screw you on anything!

engagement party - take one

2009-06-22T22:05:00.008-04:00

This past weekend was our first engagement celebration and WHEW! what an exhausting experience! Since we have so many family and friends, we decided to have a dinner with our bridal party and family and then have a backyard party with the rest of our friends and family. After the first party, I'm glad we decided to have two parties because I definitely learned a lot from it.

Don't get me wrong - the party was a success and our guests seemed to be enjoying themselves. We had dinner and drinks at an Italian restaurant and overall it went pretty well. But despite the lack of major problems, I found myself worrying so much that I barely had time to sit, eat and enjoy my company. So here are the lessons I learned the first time around that I hope to get right for our second party this summer:

It Takes Two. Before my party, my good friend Renee warned me about separating from Gianfranco. She said dividing was not the way to conquer and although I nodded my head at the time of her advice, Gianfranco and I spent most of the evening apart. Maybe splitting up works for some couples but I just felt like we defeated the purpose of having the engagement party. Our dinner guests were our closest friends and family, most of whom had already seen at least one of us since our engagement, and they were not there to talk weather with us. As my father mentioned in his toast to us, despite all the bad news we've been hearing the last year, our engagement still manages to shine through all the negativity and our guests wanted to see the love and happiness that the two of us were celebrating. Instead of crossing paths in the restaurant, we should have been holding hands and approaching each table together, as one unit. After all, isn't that the point of a wedding?! For the summer party, I'll make sure we spend the evening together and not just as strangers in the night. That's for you, Dad!
Don't Sweat The Small Stuff. As with any other event you host in your life, things are bound to go wrong. Once in a while, the problems are major, like saying the wrong name in your vows (oops!) or ripping your pants. But most of the time, the so-called "disasters" are so minor that you're the only one who notices. I spent a good hour or so creating an iPod playlist for the party. Do you think anyone really remembers the music? No. Gianfranco prepared this whole speech for after dinner. Did he remember everything he wanted to say? No. Did he make a great speech? Yes. The truth is, no one notices what he doesn't know is supposed to be there.
Details DO Matter. On the other hand, however, sometimes it's the little things that make the difference. Momzilla worked really hard (with my help, of course!) on all the little beach-themed details and her diligence and creativity paid off. We received a ton of compliments on the placecards, the napkin rings and even the favors that she created. None of the items she made cost us much money and yet they really made a difference in the ambiance. Now, Momzilla is so proud that she's already thinking of fun ideas for the summer party!
RELAX! Out of all the things I learned, this one is probably the most valuable. I was so worked up about making sure everyone was having a good time that I didn't even get to have a piece of my own cake! I kept trying to make my rounds, kept trying to keep people entertained that I barely sat down with the friends at my table. Afterwards, I realized that although our guests were here in honor of us, they didn't need us to babysit them. Everyone there knew someone else and they all had a good time just chatting amongst themselves. As important as I thought we were, I realized we weren't THAT important!

Like I said, the party was a success and everyone seemed to have a nice evening. David, my photographer, even showed up and took a lot of great pics. I'll be devoting my next entry to discuss how wonderful it was to have him there. But in the meantime, take a look at the pictures by doing the following:

1. Go to Papillio Photography's website
2. Click "Proof Galleries" on top
3. Select "Engagement Photos"
4. Click "Nicole and Gianfranco"

The password is my last name. If you really want to see the pictures but you don't know my last name (or you don't know how to spell it!) you may email me privately through this blog and I'd be happy to provide it.

So, one party down, another to go. I'm hopeful that I'll have more time to enjoy the next party but a part of me is nervous - if I had a difficult time enjoying my intimate engagement dinner, how the heck will I have fun at my large wedding?!

Thoughts?!

referrals are a bride's best friend

2009-06-16T12:28:00.004-04:00

Okay, maybe not BEST friend since that role is probably already filled by the shiny diamond ring the bride wears, but referrals rank pretty high up there.

Gianfranco and I finally booked our DJ tonight. We officially signed a contract with Elite Sound Entertainment and I'm psyched. Before researching, I had thought this vendor would be easier to choose than photography but as we met with each DJ, I came to the frustrating conclusion that it was actually going to be harder.

Each DJ appointment followed the same routine. First we chatted a little about the wedding basics - the when, the where and the how many. Next, the DJ showed us all the packages they had to offer - the lighting, the screens, the snow machines, etc. Then the DJ would pop in a sample video in which people look like they're having a blast. Finally, we got a breakdown of what our package would cost us.

It doesn't seem like it should be so hard to choose one, right? WRONG. What made it easy for us to choose a photographer made it hard to choose a DJ. With photography, we were able to see the artist's work. We could look through multiple albums and get a sense of that photographer's style.

With recorded music, however, we weren't able to do that. While it's true that photographers can present their best work, you are still able to see a few FULL albums to get an idea of how they generally shoot weddings. DJs offer you snippets of their work and it usually portrays a great scene where everyone is dancing and waving at the camera. That just wasn't enough for me. For the most part, the DJs are playing the same songs. It's how the DJ mixes that music, however, is what could make or break a wedding. Which of course leads us to the topic of this entry - REFERRALS.

My first entry about DJs left me with recommendations from friends and family. And while I did take some advice during my photographer search, I found myself really listening to what others had to say about the DJs. Photography is a matter of style and taste. Picking a DJ, in my opinion, requires the opinion of someone who has actually seen the DJ in action.

We found our DJ company through Gianfranco's friend, who handles the videography for Elite Sound Entertainment on the side. Gianfranco's friend is also a great DJ himself and had we not wanted him to attend as a guest, we would have certainly considered him for the job as well. But knowing how great of a DJ he was made me confident in his recommendation of Elite Sound.

When we met with our DJ tonight, we weren't disappointed. Since our wedding DJ also has experience as a radio DJ, he knew that variety was the most important thing. He knew that new music should be mixed in with the recurrent music with the older music in a way that everyone likes something all night. My mother is 50 next week (Happy Birthday Mom!) and yet she loves dancing to Rihanna's "Please Don't Stop The Music." My 27-year old fiance loves music from the 1950s. I don't necessarily agree with the DJs who believe in playing current music later on at night, when they think the older people have dozed off. My grandfather stays up way later than I do and my sister tends to pass out at 9pm. Age shouldn't determine the playlist and our DJ seemed to recognize that. What did it for me was when our DJ told us he played off of the reaction he got from the crowd. If they responded well to one genre, he'd remember to play more of it. If he noticed people sitting down, he'd play less of that throughout the night. That's the kind of answer I like.

Now, unless you or someone you know has experienced the DJ firsthand, it's hard to know how that flow is maintained and even then it may be just hard to remember! Before our appointment, I checked out Elite Sound's reviews on Wedding Wire, a website where you can see how other customers rated various wedding vendors in your area. They received great marks.

So what's a bride to do? How are YOU picking your DJ? Or how DID you pick your DJ? Did you base your decision strictly off of referrals? Did you ask to see the DJ at another wedding? Did you attend bridals shows? I'd love to hear about it!

paying for a winter wonderland?

2009-06-11T20:30:00.000-04:00

We've been meeting with several DJs and they've presented lots of cool options. Of course, these options come with a price tag and so I turn to you, my dear readers, for some advice. I'll list the different upgrades below and hope you can comment on what you think we'd need or wouldn't need...

Uplighting. This is when colored lights are placed on the floors throughout the room in order to accent the walls, tables and chairs. You can have multi-colored uplighting, where the room changes colors all night long or you can stick to just one color for the evening. The Venetian will provide the uplighting for $500 or we could have one of the DJs light the DJ booth and the sweetheart table for $250.

Since we're having a winter wedding, we would go for a blue uplighting like below:

Gobo. This is the description I found on Wedding Aces:

"A gobo refers to a small disc about the size of a silver dollar. The gobo has a design on it, and when a high power lamp is shown through it, the design is projected. The word gobo is used interchangeably to describe the small disc with the pattern, the pattern itself, and the actual projection you see. Gobos can be simple or intricate. They can also include colors. Depending on the pattern needed and the lamp used, they can be made out of several material… typically glass, metal, or plastic."

Most DJ companies charge around $200-$300 to have a customized gobo design created. If we were to have one for our wedding, we'd probably have our initials surrounded by snowflakes. It would be somewhat of a combination of the two pictures below:

Photo Booth. These are becoming more and more popular at weddings nowadays. I'm actually going to a wedding with one this summer. I'm not sure how the look of these booths vary among different vendors but the point is to have a Boardwalk-esque photo booth where your guests can take wacky and fun shots. They can cost anywhere between $800 and $1400 to rent for your reception.

There are lots of creative ways to use the photo booth. The two most common involve having guests keep their photos as favors/souvenirs or having the guests place their picture strips in a guest book along with their wishes for the bride and groom. Here's an example from Atlantic Studio as to how the pictures might look:

Snow Machine. Last, but not least, we were presented with the option of a snow machine. How. Cool. It would be AWESOME to have light snow falling over our heads as Gianfranco and I share our first dance as husband and wife in our snowy-themed wedding! For an additional $250, Gianfranco and I could be waltzing in our own personal snowstorm. I love it, I really do.

Now, my main concern was that the "snow" would wet the floor and cause my guests (and myself!) to slip and fall. There is no carpet in our room at the Venetian so I was afraid people would slide all over the place. The DJ assured us that the "snow" dissipates pretty quickly and would probably dissolve by the time it reached the floor. He also showed us a pretty cool shot of the bride and groom dancing as the snow fell. Although I don't have that exact picture, I did find an image from a Canadian studio, Studio Cabral, that shows just how cool of an effect the "snow" would have:

I think all of these additions could really enhance the wedding but I wonder if any of them are REALLY worth it. I know, I know, we're planning to spend an incredibly stupid amount of money on the Rolls Royce for just a couple of minutes. But Momzilla offered to pay for the limo so I don't mind the ridiculousness of it all. The DJ package, however, will be our purchase so I'm being a little more practical.

So what do you think? Do any, if not all, of these effects cross the line into Cheesy-dom? Am I not aware of any other cool add-ons?

what i hate about wedding planning #27

2009-06-06T20:40:00.002-04:00

The word "wedding" seems to be an extremely powerful term. Just the mere mention of the it causes young women to dream, mothers to cry and vendors to rack up prices.

For example, I've started to do some research on limousines. Nothing too extensive yet; just getting an idea of our budget. I think we'll have to end up with three limos - a Rolls Royce to take me, my father and my sister (Maid of Honor) to the church; a party bus to take the bridesmaids to the church and later take the entire bridal party to the hall; and a stretch limo to take the groomsmen from Gianfranco's house to the church. The party bus really excites me; it's the Rolls Royce and stretch limo that are making me want to punch someone, mainly the owner of the limo company.

The Rolls Royce that is transporting me exactly 1.6 miles away from my house, approximately four minutes, will cost me $540 including tax and gratuity. Do the math. That comes out to $135 a minute. A MINUTE. It doesn't help that I'm being charged for 3.5 hours when I only need a total of 4 minutes. Unfortunately, limos don't work that way. If I want the Rolls Royce, I have to pay for the whole 3.5 hours, no matter how long I use it. Why is it so much? Because it's for a wedding.

Now, paying for the stretch limo that the groomsmen will use for their one-hour trip down to the church is at least justified. My beef with the limo companies here is the unfair way they determine the price.

Let's compare, now shall we?

10 passenger - 3 hours - $300 non-wedding/$525 wedding
12 passenger - 4 hours - $432 non-wedding/$786 wedding
10 passenger - 5 hours - $400 non-wedding/$575 wedding
And just for fun:
28 passenger party bus - 5 hours - $900 non-wedding/$1470 wedding

The limo companies will claim their wedding package offers extra perks - like a red carpet or a bridal emergency kit. But come on! Do the groomsmen need all that junk on the way to the church? All Gianfranco needs is a can of Coke and maybe three chocolate chip cookies and he's a happy groom. Will a party bus for a wedding be ANY different than a party bus for a birthday party? I highly doubt it.

I'm almost tempted to not even mention the word "wedding" and just rent a party bus for 5 hours. Will they adjust the charge when they realize they're taking men in tuxedos to a church? Hmmm. Why am I spending nearly $600 more just because it's a wedding?! If I could book the party bus at the birthday party rate, I wouldn't even need a stretch limo to bring the guys; I'd just have the bus pick up the groomsmen first!

Unfortunately, limo companies are not the only ones to extort brides and their budgets. It happens with every vendor. Hiring a DJ for a wedding is more expensive than hiring a DJ for an anniversary party. Ordering a dozen roses to send your fiancee cost way less than the dozen roses in your bride's bouquet.

I know there's nothing I can do but vent so let me at least do that.

rules of engagement

2009-06-03T16:07:00.001-04:00

It's now June, which means we're only a couple of weeks away from the formal engagement party. I say "formal" because we'll be having two separate parties. The one scheduled for June 20th is at an Italian restaurant on Staten Island and is for the bridal party and immediate family. MZ plans on having ANOTHER party in the backyard sometime this summer for the rest of our friends and family. Even though one is more formal than the other, I'm looking forward to both equally.

Despite the number of engaged friends I have, I've only gone to a couple of engagement parties thus far. I've come to realize that not all brides plan on having a party to announce their upcoming nuptials. I, on the other hand, am rather excited to share the big news with my family and friends.

The formal engagement party, for me, is a way of seeing what our future will look like. I love the thought of bringing together his family with my family to make OUR family. And while our parents have already gotten to know each other quite well, our friends and bridal party haven't really had the chance to mix just yet.

MZ and I have actually created some DIY projects for the party. Since our January wedding will have a wintry feel to it, we thought it would be fun to add some summer time to our June engagement party. We've made the place cards, table numbers, centerpieces and napkin rings and we did a really great job, if I must say so myself. I plan on taking lots of pictures to show off my work and I'll be sure to post them on the blog with how-to instructions as well.

I found really adorable and affordable invitations at Tickled Pink Design and Meg and I wrote the saying for the card. If you can't see the text in the picture below, it says: "Nicole didn't know when it was coming/Gianfranco wanted her to guess/But when the "pieces" came together/All she could do was say, "Yes!" I would HIGHLY recommend this company for any engagement or shower invitations since they look great and professional and they were about half the cost of the other invitation companies I researched.

And since the engagement party is all about bringing the two families together, I'd love to find some time in the next week or two to create a family tree and display it for everyone to see. I'd like to make it similar to the one from Melangerie:

I doubt mine will look half as nice as this one but I'll try! Ideally, I'd like to design something using starfish or sea shells to correspond with the beach theme so if anyone has any cute ideas, pass them on!

Originally I had wanted activities and icebreakers for the party but I couldn't find anything that wasn't cheesy or lame so we're just going to have the usual toasts instead. Dad will toast to me and the fiance, the fiance will toast to our families, and I'll thank everyone for coming. My father has a way with words so I'm not worried about him but Gianfranco is not one to speak in front of crowds so he may need a little wine to loosen up!

I'll keep everyone posted on the plans but in the meantime, does anyone have any cute ideas for the engagement party? Whether it's beach-related or activity-related or if it's just advice on how to enjoy the evening, leave me a comment! I'm really interested to add something different and unique to the party...let me know!

in the case of an emergency

2009-05-27T19:18:00.000-04:00

Everytime I tell people my wedding will be in January, they look like I just told them I was pregnant with Satan's child. They raise eyebrows, tilt heads and express great concern.

I know weddings create this mental picture of grass and flowers and trees but that's just not the kind of wedding I'm hoping to have. Where others want sun, I want cloudy skies. Where there would be green leaves, I want bare branches.

The big question people ask me is, "What will you do if it snows?" While my immediate reaction is to pose a similar question, "What will others do if it rains? If it's a heatwave? If it hails?" I've discovered (or rather my parents did) a nice, credible answer.

It's called WedSafe and for a minimal cost (minimal relative to the cost of the wedding), it provides you with insurance for your wedding day.

Here's an excerpt from the website:

"WedSafeEventCancellation / Postponement Plus coverage helps protect all you have invested in your wedding – now and throughout the planning period as you put down deposits, sign contracts, and make purchases.

It covers your wedding against extreme situations that might cause postponement (severe weather, accident, sudden illness) and against financial loss if the event goes on but you have a glitch along the way – no-show vendors, lost photographs, damage to the wedding gown, and more.

If you're worried about recovering your deposits if a vendor goes bankrupt or doesn't deliver as promised
If you're concerned that extreme weather or an unexpected illness or injury could force you to postpone
If the bride or groom is in the military and approved leave could be canceled"

My parents are planning on purchasing the insurance in the event of a blizzard but I would encourage all brides to take a look as well. While it won't cover a wedding canceled by the bride and groom because they hate each other, it will cover pretty much anything else that could go wrong on the big day.

The good thing about having a wedding in January is that there is no pressure. I am expecting, or rather, HOPING my day to be cloudy and cold, with a little bit of snow. Knowing my luck, however, I'll have the only warm and sunny day that January.

Maybe WedSafe can cover my wedding in the event THAT happens?!

cute site

2009-05-24T13:15:00.002-04:00

I also found this really cute site for grooms. It's called The Plunge and it's provides entertaining articles for the men who are suddenly thrown into this crazy world called wedding planning.

I doubt Gianfranco will read it as often as I read The Knot, but it's worth a try!

be our guest (or not)

2009-05-21T22:26:00.005-04:00

Now that my favorite television shows are done for the season (boo to cliffhangers but yay to Kris Allen!), I have a little more time to concentrate on both the blog and my wedding planning. Lucky you!

So the Venetian told us we needed to have at least 215 guests attend our wedding. That's nice wedding vendor talk for we need to at least PAY for 215 guests. Whether or not they show up is no concern of the hall's. With that in mind, GF and I started attacking our guest list again, this time with a more judging eye.

Granted, Momzilla and Wedding Singer Dad are graciously paying for our reception but we still had to think: Does Aunt Sue REALLY need to be invited? Should cousin May be invited with a guest even though she hasn't dated anyone since the new millennium? Will co-workers be offended if they're not invited?

These were all questions we asked ourselves. So, my dear readers, how did we answer them?

Absolutely NO children under the age of 18 other than bridal party and IMMEDIATE family. That means first cousins. It's not that I don't want kids there. I actually think little kids are adorable at weddings. The problem I have is if you invite one, you have to invite them all. It's easier to just limit them to a specific group. Otherwise, you have a riot on your hands when little Joey gets invited but sweet Sally doesn't.
If you're single and you know it, clap your hands. No, wait, that's not what I meant to say. If you're single and you know lots of other single guests, you're invited alone. I am all about inviting single people with dates if I know they will otherwise be sitting in the corner by themselves while their engaged/married friends are slow dancing for the 5th time that night. I don't want to make anyone feel lonely and sad and suicidal. That's just not how I envision my wedding day. But, on the other hand, if we have a group of single friends who will keep each other company and challenge each other to another shot of Yaeger, then I will leave the "& Guest" off the envelope. Hey, who knows who will end up going home together? See, now THAT'S how I envision my wedding day - bringing people together!
My parents have a zillion friends. Just because they went to your son's uncle's wedding DOESN'T mean you have to come to mine. This isn't Revenge of the Wedding Envelopes, people! You should be invited to my wedding because my fiance and I want to share our day with you, NOT just because your son's uncle was crazy enough to want to share HIS day with Carol & Russ.
When I was a kid, I was told not to talk to strangers. The same will be applied for the guest list. If neither my fiance nor I know who you are, then you're not invited. I understand GF has family members whom I have never met and my mom has coworkers whom GF has never seen, but as long as at least ONE of us knows at least one half of each couple, then we're fine. I don't want to make new friends on my wedding day. I already have friends. 215 of them.
Of those 215 friends, some also serve as coworkers. Shoutouts to Meg, my workwife, Vik, my part-time chauffeur and to Mel and Mary, my fellow brides-to be! As a very social person, this guest list is extremely hard to create. Of course I won't be able to invite EVERYONE but I think my office is pretty understanding in that department. My company is small but when you start inviting dates and husbands, that number doubles. Gianfranco, on the other hand, doesn't plan on inviting his coworkers. I think a good "work" rule to follow is, if you are friends both inside and outside the office, then go ahead and invite. Otherwise, I don't think anyone would be offended.

I think I've covered the main groups but are there any other situations that I've ignored? Should I reevaluate my criteria for any of these? Brides, I need your help!

what i hate about wedding planning #42

2009-05-19T21:32:00.003-04:00

I get so annoyed when I email a vendor regarding their price list and they tell me to *make an appointment* to discuss their packages. I mean, if I made an appointment to see every vendor I liked, the wedding would never be planned. Emailing them (and the dozen other vendors in their field) is my way of weeding out the ones who aren't in my budget. I just want to know if they are in my price range. If they are, great. I'll set up a consultation with the fiance and we'll be ready to hear more. If they aren't, then at least I know and I don't waste an hour of my life explaining what we want just so they can give us their outrageous prices.

As you can see, I've grown a little wary of vendors who won't give their prices either through email or over the phone. I know some of them claim it's because they don't want their competitors to see their prices. Others justify it by saying each package is custom designed.

Blah, blah, blah. Honestly, I think these a lot of these vendors are fully aware of how much they cost and they believe they'll have an easier chance of booking you if you are talking with them face to face. I don't like that. It reminds me of shady car salesmen who use one-on-one meetings to assess how much of a sucker you are.

So ladies, take my advice. If a vendor isn't willing to provide you with costs on your intial request, they're probably not worth the visit.

please don't stop the music

2009-05-18T21:18:00.002-04:00

Okay so photography is done! Woo hoo! Now on to the next vendor - the DJ. Survey says people remember two things about weddings - the food (The Venetian has a great reputation for their catering) and the music.

I don't think I ever really hesitated in my decision to have a DJ over a band. Nothing against bands or singers - heck, my father is a wedding singer - but I think I'd prefer to have the original version of the song with the original artist. Plus, not to sound too bridezilla-ish but I have this fear that my guests will spend the whole evening watching the band perform instead of watching me and Gianfranco share our first dance. My mother says the guests won't do that, but I know I tend to focus on the band at weddings so who's to say guests wouldn't do it at mine?

So now I'm all about the music. Researching the different DJ companies, inquiring about their prices, attending their showcases, etc. And once again, I have a clear vision of what type of package I'm seeking. Sometimes I wish I were a simple bride who didn't care about lighting or plasma screens. Life would be so much easier, not to mention CHEAPER!

I've always been a music person. When I was little, I used to sing Paula Abdul songs to my Jordan Knight poster. When I was in Junior High, I kept my stereo on all night long with a mix tape handy in case a good song came on the radio. When I was in High School, I contemplated starting my own CD mixes, called Mood Music, which would have been comparable to the iPod Playlists of today. In college, I was known for having the largest music collection of all of my friends and I was always the first to know the latest song on the radio. My first and current job deals a lot with music/radio research and one of my bosses calls me the "Golden Gut" for my uncanny ear for pop hits.

Anyone who knows me will agree that I am slightly dramatic. I know my good friends are screaming, "Slightly?!!?" at the computer screen right now but I don't want to scare of any readers who DON'T know me! But part of that dramatic side is this ridiculous notion that my life is a movie and my music is the soundtrack. We've had our wedding playlist selected for months now, even before we got engaged, so you can only imagine how picky I will be about finding the right DJ.

Here is what I'm looking for (in case you know a DJ or ARE a DJ):

Plasma Screens. That is number one on my list because of the emotional, dramatic, sentimental images I plan on displaying during the evening. I'll probably need to leave tissue boxes on each table.
Italian Music. I'm marrying a man named Gianfranco. That's just his first name. We'll need Italian music and we'll need a lot of it. I'm leaving the fiance in charge of determining how experienced prospective DJs are with Italian-American weddings since I have no clue.
Intelligent Lighting. This actually isn't so much a criterion (criteria is plural) of mine as it is my mother's. I dont know, maybe it's because of her disco dancin' ways that she wants all different colored lights flashing while she boogies but she is determined to have this crazy thing called "Intelligent Lighting" at the wedding. I do wonder why it's called "Intelligent" though. Will it flash with the beat of the songs? Will it announce my entrance into the ballroom? Will it spell out "Congratulations" on the wall? We shall see!
A normal emcee. Don't laugh because living in the Northern NJ/NYC area makes this request hard to find. I don't want Sonic the Hedgehog announcing the "Fatha/Dawta" dance or asking guests to please join us on the "dance flaw." I don't want a fist pumper or MC Hammer to narrate my wedding. I just want a classy guy who tastefully keeps the party moving.

I don't think that list is too long, is it? I've just begun my research and we have our first appointment next Tuesday. I doubt I'll spend as much time on the DJ search as I did on the photography search but only because there are fewer DJ options from which I can choose.

Once I select a DJ, I will then work on my DO NOT PLAY list. Kinda like the DO NOT CALL list, only listing songs and not involving telemarketers. But don't worry, there will be a separate entry on that and I'll definitely be requesting songs that you, the readers, hate hearing at weddings.

Any tips or advice for me as I begin my quest for the perfect entertainment? I'd love to hear them...

a rose by any other name...

2009-05-15T19:12:00.000-04:00

So Gianfranco's sister, Nancy, is getting married this October and as both a bridesmaid and future sister-in-law, I've been helping out with her wedding tasks. A few weeks ago, she was addressing her Save the Date magnets and I offered my hand (literally) in writing out some of the envelopes. As I was filling out return address on the first envelope, I wrote Nancy's first initial ("N" obviously!) and then my hand immediately went to writing out my last name when I caught myself and remembered to fill in Nancy's last name. I wasn't really surprised that I made that mistake as I very rarely address envelopes from anyone other than me but I was surprised at the thought that came next.

While the N. Ben****** on the envelopes right now stands for Nancy Ben******, the same initial will represent NICOLE Ben****** in another year and a half!

I think I've been pretty calm about the whole marriage thing. I'm excited to live with Gianfranco and to cook dinner with/for him and to have "His" and "Hers" towels hanging in the bathroom. I'm happy to share my life with the man I love and to hopefully start a family in years to come. But while I'm enthusiastic about the lifestyle changes I'm about to undertake, I'm still a little weirded out about the identity changes I will undergo once I say, "I do."

On January 15, 2011, I will no longer be a Mart*****. I will have to obtain a new driver's license and new credit cards. I'll have to change my work email and my business cards. I will have to remind myself of my new last name everytime I sign a receipt, make reservations or shop online. To quote Shakespeare,

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

Well, okay, then, so what IS in a name? Won't I still be the same person with the same interests and the same dislikes as I was before I got married? Why is this tiny little edit to my life making me feel so uncomfortable?

I guess the first and most obvious answer is that I've been who I am for the last 27 years of my life. I can spell my last name frontwards, backwards, in the dark, upside and inside out. It's what has always distinguished me from the zillion other Nicoles in class. It's the reason why Lauren Marr** and I became such good friends ten years ago (we always sat behind each other in school). It's part of what makes Lyndsey and I sisters. It's what makes my father, mother, sister and I a family. It's what lets me know that I BELONG somewhere. When I become a Ben******, I will be leaving my family name and joining another one. Yes, Gianfranco and I are becoming ONE, but he will still be the same person he was before he enters the church. I, on the other hand, will become someone different.

The second is that my sister and I are the end of the line. We're all that's left of the Mart***** family tree. My dad has an older sister who changed her name over 30 years ago and my father has no cousins with whom he shares his last name. I guess I feel guilty that I am killing a family name that began hundreds and hundreds of years ago.

The last reason is actually related (no pun intended) to the first. Anyone who knows me is aware of how much I love family history and genealogy and heritage. Lately, I've been pretty hardcore about it - going to the library, obtaining marriage licenses and birth certificates and interviewing family members for oral histories. And maybe it's because I'm too sensitive, too analytical or just too involved in my wedding planning, but seeing the names of my ancestors triggered a whole bunch of emotions. When most people explore their family heritage, they generally tend to focus on the family name, that is, the last name of the husband. But what about the wife? During my research, I've discovered tons of maiden names that I didn't even know existed! Am I not as much of my great-great grandmother's family as I am of my great-great grandfather's?! I hope my children and my grandchildren are just as aware of their mother's family names as they are of their father's.

I guess the good news is we've now come into an age where maiden names are still used, whether it's legally hyphenated or just displayed on your Facebook page. And I suppose the people who knew you as a child will probably always think of you as your maiden name. The forementioned Lauren has since become Lauren Smith (Smith is broad enough that I doubt she'd mind it being published!) but to me, she will always be Lauren Marr**.

So brides and married ladies, please comment and tell me how YOU feel/felt about changing your last name. Am I making too big of a deal about it? Will I tell my daughter 30 years from now what my mother tells me - that she has been and will be her married name far longer than she was ever her maiden name?

all i heard was, "blah, blah, blah"

2009-05-12T11:21:00.000-04:00

Bride or not, we're all guilty of it at one point in our lives. Some of us are better at it than others but in the end, we all tend to focus on what's going on in our own world without being aware of how our chatter is absolutely boring everyone else around us. For people like me, it's a wedding. For others, it's their job or their boyfriend or their house or their baby.

I am so excited to get married that I'm pretty sure my thoughts revolve around my wedding about 90% of the time. Ninety-percent. The remaining 10% is given to my favorite television shows (Idol!), my summer vacation (Italy!) and my weekend plans (quick, name an activity that starts with an "I"!)

My poor friends! My poor coworkers! My poor fiance! It's amazing how just one little day, nearly TWO years from now, is all I ever think about. We were at my grandparents' house Saturday night and all I could yap about were my wedding plans. My own sister, the Maid of Honor, was even tired of listening to me. By the end of the night, I was too.

Unless the person to whom you are talking is going through the same stage of life as you, chances are they are smiling and nodding and not listening to a word you're saying. And it's not just about planning your wedding but about also experiencing pregnancy or buying a house or meeting the new love of your life or raising your two children.

I've decided that there are three types of listeners in this world:

The Me-Toos are the best kind of listeners to have. These are the people who are obsessing over the same events, experiences or emotions that you are. When I was heavily involved in big projects at work, I turned to my coworkers to discuss politics, market research and questionnaire design. When my ex and I broke up for the zillionth time several years ago, his friend's ex-girlfriend and I would spend hours comparing notes and analyzing our broken relationships. Now that I'm planning my wedding, my close (engaged) friend Renee and I swap ideas, concerns and questions. These friends not only hear you, but they listen and provide good, solid insight as well. They're not tired of hearing you ramble on about petal cones and placecards. They are genuinely interested in your thoughts because ultimately, it could affect theirs as well.
The Oh-Really?-That's-Nice listeners don't mean to look away while you're talking but can you really blame them? You have to give them credit for politely hearing about things that either don't apply to them yet or that once applied to them a long time ago. It's hard to share in a bride's happiness over flower arrangements if tulips are the last thing on your mind at the moment! I know I've done it myself to other friends who, ironically, were planning their weddings! My good friend got married last year and I was SO not involved in her wedding planning. Imagine that?! It's not that I didn't care or that I wasn't happy for her, I just didn't really know or understand all the little details that she was describing. Now, of course, I wish I had paid more attention to the times she spoke about her photographers or about her overnight guest baskets. Instead, I was probably wrapped up in whatever topic was consuming my mind at that point in my life.
Last and least, the Enough, Alreadys! are the (non) listeners who have already been talked to death that they either a) avoid you, b) escape you or c) interrupt you before you even have a chance to mention your wedding. They just don't want to hear about it anymore! They can't seem to understand what happened to the girlfriend/friend/sister/daughter/coworker/teammate/roommate/carpooling buddy (Sorry Vik!) they used to know and love! I think Gianfranco has sadly accepted that his fiancee has disappeared and left a bumbling bridezilla in her place. Whenever we go to my parents' house, he brings his laptop and plays on the computer while my mother and I talk wedding stuff because he knows it's pointless to even discuss anything else.

So there you have it, folks. One group is listening, one group is nodding and one group is covering their ears so they don't have to hear anymore. The good news is that people are not stuck in any one particular group. My roommate, who is also engaged, tends to jump from "Enough, Already" to "Me-Too" to "Oh-Really?-That's-Nice," depending on the topic. When I mention wedding dresses, she's all ears. When I talk about the guest list, she listens politely and when I bring up wedding etiquette, she quickly lets me know that she's had enough.

I guess the point of this posting is to remind everyone, not just brides, to be mindful of how much of your obsession is shared by the people with whom you're conversing. Like battles, you need to learn to pick your conversation topics wisely.

Otherwise, you'll have to start a blog because nobody will want to talk to you anymore. Why do you think I started this one? :)

to involve or not to involve...

2009-05-10T02:06:00.002-04:00

So this morning I officially booked the photographer. Yup, I put a deposit on our first wedding vendor. They're such nice and honest people and I can't wait until our engagement session!

Now, notice the pronoun I used in the above sentence. I. Not we. Why? Because Gianfranco thought cleaning his garage was more important than settling our photography plans. Of course when I mentioned this to the photographers, they inspired me with yet another blog idea.

Just how much involvement is the groom really expected to have anyway?

Contrary to popular belief, I did not grow up dreaming about my wedding day. I didn't wear a party dress and throw a towel over my face while holding a punch of paper flowers. It's not that I didn't want to have a huge wedding with a big beautiful dress. I just think my eight-year old mind wasn't really aware of how much behind the scenes work went into those fairytale weddings I saw in the movies. I think I just expected it would magically appear. That's the wedding mentality Gianfranco seems to have, which makes him a frustrating yet cooperative groom.

After our first week of getting engaged, I was already scheduling appointments to see the church and the potential reception halls. When I mentioned these plans to Gianfranco, he seemed baffled and expressed his thought that he only needed to be involved in the engagement. He actually admitted, "I thought after the proposal, my job was done." Funny, I didn't seem to think that asking the woman you love to spend the rest of your life with you was a job.

At first, I was upset and embarrassed. Does this mean he doesn't want to marry me anymore? Is he regretting his decision to put a ring on my finger? I mean, why isn't he as impressed as I am to see the bridal suite's bathroom?! Or as excited to select the song to which we'll enter the ballroom for the first time as husband and wife?! Is he not getting involved because he's dreading for the date to arrive?!

But as the weeks went by and I began mentioning more and more of our wedding-to-dos, I realized three things.

The first is that when he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him, he wasn't envisioning bridesmaid dresses and photographers. His idea of a wedding was simply one in which he was becoming a family with the woman who was screaming, "Yes!!! I will marry you!!" Gianfranco, and possibly most grooms, kinda skip over the whole wedding part and are thinking more long-term. They're looking into the future and seeing babies and family dinners and gray hairs. Girls, on the other hand, sometimes forget that the wedding day isn't the end of the engagement period but rather just the beginning of the "till death do us part" period. We end up spending so much time carefully planning every aspect of that ONE day that we end up neglecting the reason for the celebration in the first place. I read a quote somewhere that remarked,

"If people spent as much time on their marriages as they do planning their wedding, the divorce rate would be much lower."

The second thing I realized is that Gianfranco knew very little about weddings and how much time and energy and money they required. He was quite surprised at how many details and dollars went into innocent things like pictures and flowers. As with the engagement ring, Gianfranco had to learn the jargon of the industry. After he asked three photographers about "flush pictures," (a combination of words he had heard me use a couple of times) I finally corrected him on the term, "flush mount album" and it instantly dawned on me that he doesn't get so involved mainly because he doesn't really know how much involvement is needed! He didn't seem concerned about costs because he had no clue that the "flush pictures" may be more expensive than "the pictures that are stuck on the page" (his words, not mine). Gianfranco wasn't reading The Knot's advice columns on what to ask potential vendors and he certainly wasn't calling venues asking them about their prices. He just simply didn't know.

And finally, the last thing I realized was that items one and two were GOOD THINGS! I mean, really, how involved did I want him to be anyway? Of course I wanted him to voice his opinion if something really concerned him but in the end, the party was really all about me. Now before you get all righteous about my last statement, please read it carefully. I wrote the party was all about me, not the wedding and it's true. The actual wedding lasts about 30 minutes and it is truly about the both of us. We will both be vowing to love and honor each other all the days of our lives. We will both be blessed by the priest in the eyes of God. We will both say, "I do". But do you really think anyone expects Gianfranco to pick out the flowers in his boutonniere? Or the monogram on the wedding program? No. Gianfranco asked me to marry him. That was all. He didn't ask me if I wanted to register at Bed Bath & Beyond for stainless steel cooking pots. He didn't ask me if I preferred photojournalism over traditional photography.

Why didn't he ask me these things? Because unless it's something that will make him feel hurt, angry or embarrassed, it doesn't matter to him. The only thing that does is making me his (happy) wife.

I'm sure there are grooms out there who ARE quite involved in the planning and that's great! I find it very sweet that a man would participate in details that may not usually interest him for the sake of a beautiful celebration. But I want to remind my fellow brides that even if the Mr. doesn't seem too concerned with much aside from the food and liquor (Gianfranco just wanted shrimp), it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you or the wedding. It just means that he cares enough to support and trust whatever decisions you make, both for your wedding and for the rest of your lives.

thanks to you, now i get, i get what i want

2009-05-06T15:28:00.000-04:00

We're finally moving ahead and booking Papillio Photography to shoot our wedding day photos! I am super excited that we're officially scheduling our first real vendor! I spent the last three months researching and agonizing over photographers that I thought I would share my experience with my readers...

My mother had been planning my wedding since the day I was born. No, seriously, she had been. No matter how old I was, every guy I dated had the potential to be my husband according to MZ (short for Momzilla). Pete* when I was 24, Pat* when I was 19, Mark* when I was 15, heck, even Joe* when I was 12! Even though Jane Austen lived about 2oo years before my mother, she certainly had MZ in mind when she observed:

"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment."

Mom was a young wife herself and so she became frustrated year after year when I still remained hopelessly single. At first, she was generally positive about my prospects but by my 25th birthday, I believe she was near suicidal. She and I seemed to be crossing paths in an unusual way; my standards for my future husband seemed to be higher and higher while hers seemed to be falling faster than gravity should allow. MZ would cry and complain that I was too picky, too selective, too snobby. She wailed that I never liked the good guys, that I only wanted the jerks. Now, in fairness to her, that was partly true. I had dated more than a couple of jerks in my lifetime while tossing away more than a couple of sweethearts.

But the truth is, I knew. I knew what I wanted and I knew I wasn't going to settle until I found it. It didn't matter how sweet the guy was or how nice he treated me or how much money he made, I had a package in mind and I wasn't going to be happy with anything less than that. And so I waited. I waited until I found a guy who was tall, dark, handsome, smart, sweet, funny, sensitive, family-oriented, hard-working, social, comfortable, etc.

Okay, I can go on and on about all the traits that describe my perfect man but I don't want to bore you. The point is, my mother (and a lot of other people) told me that my standards were set too high and that I would never get EVERYTHING I wanted in one person. I didn't believe her and kept on looking, much to my mother's chagrin.

So what happened? I found him. Now those of you who know my relationship with Gianfranco are probably laughing recalling the time I complained about how he couldn't hang my shelves or the times I teased him for having his mother make his lunch or the night he squealed how much he loves the movie, "The Wedding Date." And for those of you who didn't know before, now you know. Gianfranco loves the movie "The Wedding Date." Of course GF isn't perfect, no one is, but he's perfect for me. He's what I've always wanted in a guy, flaws included. And I thank God everyday that I didn't listen to my mother and I WAITED.

Now you're wondering - how in the WORLD does this tie in with photography? Well, I applied the same theory to photography and I'm so glad I did.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that. Why did my standards for a future husband begin to rise as I got older? Because I dated so many different guys that I was able to piece all the good traits together and create my own Frankenstein of a man. Gianfrankenstein, I should say! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I know all my friends are groaning right now because of that corny joke! But it's true. It wasn't until I looked around and saw my options did I know what I want and what I didn't want. Same for photography. I liked the guest book from one photographer and sepia shots from another photographer. I kept an ongoing list of all the items I wanted in my picture perfect package, pun intended, and I waited for the right photographer. For the basics, I wanted all day coverage, two photographers, a 12x12 flush album, an engagement session and a guest book. I wanted to stick to my $4,000 budget. I wanted to know the people who would be shooting my wedding. I wanted to pay my balance only when I received my prints. I wanted, I wanted, I wanted. Everyone told me to look at the big picture and to sacrifice something in order to get the majority of what I wanted. Even the fiance told me to "just pick one!" and forget the other stuff. I said no. Instead, I kept an Excel spreadsheet of about two dozen photographers and I recorded everything they offered in their packages, along with the subtotal, tax and total. Then I sorted them by total price in ascending order and compared their packages. In the end, I was able to include EVERYTHING I wanted in a package that was actually UNDER my budget. Imagine that!
Till death do us part. That doesn't only apply to the man I plan on marrying. It also applies to the photographer whose pictures I hope to show my great-grandchildren one day. Just as I thought about my long-term feelings about GF before we got engaged, I also thought about how my appreciation of my wedding pictures would have to last years and years. A wise photographer once told me that while photojournalism is hotter than this past end of April, this trend could be fleeting and seem outdated in a decade. The photographer we just booked warned us that the plexiglass album covers may end up looking as ridiculous and gaudy as the 1970s turtleneck wedding dresses my friends' mothers wore back in the day.
Love the one you're with. Once we're married, I will see Gianfranco every day for the rest of my life. His face will be there when I wake up, when I eat dinner and when I go to bed. His voice will be the first and last thing I hear. If I can't tolerate his corny jokes or his Homer Simpson pajamas, then I shouldn't be marrying him. The same with my photographers. They are the people with whom I will be spending the most time on my wedding day. They will be there before I get dressed until the last person leaves the hall. Even Gianfranco won't see me that much that day! If we don't like our photographers' personalities, then how will they possibly capture ours? I sat talking to our photographers for nearly 2 hours before we booked them. I felt comfortable and relaxed and myself, all things I'll need to feel on my wedding day in order for them to get the most natural and candid shots.
Never settle. If I've learned anything over the last 27 years, it's that you should never settle for less than what you want. Life's too short for regret. Of course you should compromise, but you should never push yourself so far that you'll resent yourself or your spouse or your mother later on. Every bride has her own expectations, her own hopes, her own criteria and her own budget. She shouldn't let anyone bully her into spending more, getting less or giving up. There are so many photographers out there; there is bound to be one who fits all of her needs.

So brides, remember - for every pot, there is a lid. And for every wedding, there is a photographer.

the shower is the best place for ideas

2009-05-03T13:55:00.000-04:00

I'm launching my blog site with the above title because it's so true! I was in the shower this morning, planning my wedding (of course), and I thought of what a photographer said to me this past week. After I had rambled on and on about my research and organization and projects (the fiance was rolling his eyes the entire time), the photographer smiled and suggested that I blog for The Knot. I laughed it off at the time but today, as I was rinsing out my shampoo, I opened my eyes (which caused the suds to burn my pupils) and whispered, "I SHOULD write a blog!"

Sooo to start us off - allow me to introduce myself. My name is Nicole and I originally hail from Staten Island, NY. I now live in Northern New Jersey, where I met my fiance. We got engaged in February of 2009 and are currently planning a January 2011 wedding. The purpose of this blog is to let me release any random thoughts, ideas or just observations I'm experiencing along the way. I figured that I would not only share my ideas with my friends, family, coworkers and random strangers on the street, but would now include surfers of the net.

We already have a date, a church and a hall. January 15, 2011, St. Clare's Church and The Venetian, respectively. We've formally asked our bridal attendants to be part of the wedding. We're having a slightly larger-than-average bridal party - 8 groomsmen, 8 bridesmaids, 2 junior bridesmaids and a flower girl. Including us, the bride and groom, we are 21 total. Look, it's a lot better than my original plan to have 12 bridesmaids and groomsmen!

My sister is the maid of honor, his best friend is the best man, and my mother is a MOMZILLA. I don't know if I've created that term but I frequently use it to describe this woman who somehow seems to think we're back in 1981 where she's planning HER wedding. Weird, right? Maybe time travel CAN happen! In all seriousness, she's calmed down a lot (after a million "this is MY wedding, Mom!" arguments) and she's got a lot of great ideas that I'm sure we'll explore during this whole process.

So what's the first order of business?! PICTURES! Photography has been my obsession even before we got engaged so I've been doing a ton of research to ensure I select the right photographers. More to come on that.

For now, just be glad I now have an outlet for the hundreds of wedding ideas I have...so that you're not stuck listening to them!